1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them 2. Having s*x in a twin bed is out of the question 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge 4. You hear your favorite song in an elevator 5. 6.00am is when you wake up, not when you go to bed 6. You watch the weather channel 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up" 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up" 10. You are the one calling the police because those %&@#!! kids next door won't turn down the stereo 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you 12. You don't know what time Azam Ice Cream closes anymore 13. Your car insurance goes down, and your car payments go up 14. You feed your dog with science diet instead of McDonald's leftovers 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt 16. You take naps 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3.00am would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach 19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and Antacid, not condoms and pregnancy test 20. A $ 4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good sh*t" 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time 22. " I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again" 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work 24. You drink at home to save money before you go to the bar 25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking " Oh sh*t, what the hell happened?"