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20 tips to supercharge your confidence

Discussion in 'Habari na Hoja mchanganyiko' started by Njowepo, Jan 3, 2009.

  1. Njowepo

    Njowepo JF-Expert Member

    Jan 3, 2009
    Joined: Feb 26, 2008
    Messages: 9,132
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    1. Stop comparing yourself with other people.

    Human beings can increase or decrease their sense of self-value by
    contrasting themselves either positively or negatively with others.
    But if you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many
    "opponents" you can't defeat. There will always be some people who
    have more than you and some who have less. So stop comparing!
    What's the point? It's about how you feel about yourself.

    2. Stop the critic inside of you.

    Some people have a bad habit of putting themselves down. They say
    negative things to themselves like, "I'm not good at this, I
    shouldn't try" or "There you go again, stupid!" Don't do this to
    yourself. Get in the new habit of catching yourself saying critical
    things about yourself and learn to silence your inner critic. If
    it's unavoidable, at least tone down the level of your criticism.
    Try to replace a negative thought with a positive thought.

    3. Forgive and forget.

    Don't waste your time and energy thinking of past hurts. Your time
    can be wisely spent for other productive things rather than
    negative thoughts about the past. Remember, you forgive for
    yourself, not for the other person. So forgive that person who has
    wronged you -- you are doing this FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT -- not
    theirs. Forgive them, and move on.

    4. Associate with positive, supportive people.

    Hang out with enthusiastic people. This way, you will get infected
    by their positive attitude. You will view the world in its full
    shining glory and move around oozing with energy. Stay away from
    negative people. When you are surrounded by negative people who
    constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is
    lowered. Zig Ziglar once said "You can't fly with the eagles if you
    continue to scratch with the turkeys." Cheesy, but true.

    5. Get involved in work and activities you love.

    It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in
    work you hate! Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work
    and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. And even
    if you're not in a position to make immediate changes in your
    career, you can still devote some of your leisure time to
    constructive hobbies or activities that make you happy. What
    healthy things are in your life that make you happy? Do more of

    6. Be true to yourself.

    Live your own life -- not the life someone decided is best for you.
    You will never gain your own respect and you will never feel good
    about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. So
    if you're still making decisions based on getting approval from
    friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your
    self-esteem is lowered.

    7. Talk affirmatively to others and yourself.

    Words carry power that can hurt other people or yourself.
    Similarly, words can generate enough power to give warmth and
    comfort. So be conscious of your choice of words. Choose
    affirmative words when speaking with someone. Be positive with
    other people. Be positive with yourself.

    8. Quit blaming yourself for mistakes in the past.

    There are many things in life that you can't control, so stop
    blaming yourself for negative outcomes. Instead, learn to honor
    your own efforts and give yourself proper credit for things that
    you have done right, and done well. Just the fact that you are
    spending time reading this is a step in the right direction. Stop
    living your life in the rear-view mirror. MOVE FORWARD.

    9. Make a long list of your personal breakthroughs and

    Think of times when you did something that you thought that never
    could do, but you managed to pull it off successfully. Count even
    the small breakthroughs and accomplishments. These breakthroughs
    should be a source of pride! Make a long list of your own
    breakthroughs and read this list often. While reviewing your list,
    close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy
    you experienced when you first attained each success. Make a list
    right now.

    10. Make a list of your positive qualities.

    Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Hard-working? Be
    generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive
    qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most
    people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life
    isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits! Stop
    beating yourself up.

    11. Figure out the hidden strengths in your so-called weaknesses.

    You can't develop high self-esteem if you constantly repeat
    negative comments about your skills and abilities. Remember that
    there is always a positive in every negative if you look hard
    enough. For instance, you may think of yourself as stubborn, but
    the flipside is that you're also persistent and dependable.

    12. Rediscover and reaffirm your personal strengths.

    Sometimes you have to take a new inventory of what you LIKE about
    your looks, smile, body, sexiness, health, personality, and
    character strengths. Don't sell yourself short. It isn't wrong or
    egotistical to praise yourself. You are probably better than you
    think you are.

    13. Ignore yourself.

    Sometimes the real problem isn't self-esteem at all but a tendency
    toward over thinking, or thinking to much about yourself and your
    circumstances. When you get this feeling, just stop, and direct
    your focus to other things. Forget about yourself, and apply your
    energy to completing a task that will get your further towards your

    14. Accept all compliments with "Thank You."

    Don't dismiss or ignore compliments. When you do this, you give
    yourself the message that you don't deserve you do not deserve
    compliments, or you are not worthy of praise. Of course you deserve
    praise. Accept compliments from other people, and respond with a
    simple "Thank You."

    15. Start giving more.

    Start to give more of yourself to those around you. When you do
    things for someone else, you are making a positive contribution and
    you begin to feel more valuable, which in turn lifts your spirits
    and raises your own self-esteem. So next time you see a downcast or
    downtrodden person, pick her up from the rut. Share with her the
    warmth of your helping hand and watch the glow in her eyes.

    16. Be your own cheerleader.

    Tell yourself "Go! You can do it!" This may sound cheesy, but it
    really goes a long way. Then, once you accomplish a task, learn how
    to enjoy a few minutes of self-congratulations instead of jumping
    right into the next task as if nothing happened. Imagine yourself
    as your own cheerleader on the sidelines, cheering you toward the
    goal, then celebrating when you reach it. Again, this isn't silly
    -- it's smart and contagious.

    17. Start small and do a task you can accomplish easily.

    There's no faster way to build self-esteem than crossing items off
    your "to-do" list. It always feels good to get something done. And
    it doesn't necessarily have to be a monumental accomplishment. The
    person who moves a mountain starts by moving small stones. Start
    small, and build your momentum.

    18. Examine your pattern of highs and lows.

    Perhaps you're just in a "praise starvation" mode. Maybe it's been
    too long since you got a compliment or got to do anything that
    someone noticed. Or perhaps you started the downward spiral when
    you said some bad things to someone. It's always good to remember
    that self-esteem is a mental construct. So examine your patterns,
    and remember that it's all in your mind. Force yourself back to the
    high-road of positive thoughts.

    19. Get some exercise.

    Even ten minutes on the treadmill will help. Exercise can decrease
    "stress hormones" like cortisol, and increase endorphins (your
    body's "feel-good" chemicals) giving your mood a natural boost. If
    you don't exercise, go for a walk while feeding your brain with
    positive thoughts. Break a sweat. You'll feel better afterward.

    20. Take action!

    When you take action -- regardless of the result -- you feel better
    about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and
    anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy -- and you will
    undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem. So do
    something, and do something now. Take action!