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Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Viol, Oct 11, 2011.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 11, 2011
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
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    Kulikuwa na harusi ilifanyika kanisani, wakati misa ya ndoa ikiendelea Mchungaji ikafika wakati wa kuuliza kama kuna mtu mwenye kipingamizi na ndoa, babu mmoja na mkongojo wake akajivuta taratibu mpaka mbele, bibi harusi alipomwona akapiga kelele "Mungu wangu" akaanguka na kuzimia, Mchungaji akamuuliza "Ehee babu tuambie una kizuizi gani?" Babu akajibu "kule nyuma spika mbovu nimeamua kuja mbele nisikie vyema".
     
  2. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Mhudumu analeta supu huku katia kidole ndani ya bakuli.MTEJA: mbona unaweka dole lako ndani ya supu yangu?MHUDUMU: dactari kaniambia kidonda kiwe na joto saa zote ndio kitapona.MTEJA(kwa hasira): si uwe unakichomeka matakoni kwako muda wote.MHUDUMU: ndio huwa nafanya hivyo nikiwa jikoni.
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Jambazi aliingia kanisani na bunduki akatangaza anaempenda yesu abaki ndani na wasiompenda watoke nje, watu wote wakatoka nje mbio kanisani akabaki mchungaji na wazee wa 3 -basi jambaz akamwambia mchungaj waweza kuendelea na ibada nilitaka kukutolea wanafki,.
     
  4. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Johny alimwomba afanya mapenzi fasta na sofia ofisini,Akamwambia sofia kuwa anataka ampe kimoja cha fasta ofisini kisha ampe 10,000. Sofia akagoma! Johny: Nitafanya fasta darling, nitaweka hela sakafuni ww ukiinama tu kuokota mi ntakuwa nimemaliza. Sofia akaomba ushauri kwa boyfriend wake Mr George. George: USIACHE HELA SOFIA! Mwambie atoe 30,000 kisha okota fasta kabla hajavua. George akasubiri dk 45 KIMYA. Akaamua kumpgia Sofia.Sofia akajibu ndio kwanza tupo nusu kwani Johny katupa 30,000 ya mia mia (chenchi chenchi)
     
  5. figganigga

    figganigga JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 11, 2011
    Joined: Oct 17, 2010
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    hahahaaa...!!mia mia mia.
     
  6. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 11, 2011
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    nakuja na lingine
     
  7. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Baada ya shughuli kitandani MWANAMKE alimwambia mwanaume, "Gitaa lako dogo" MWANAUME akajibu: Sawa lakini sikujua kama nitatumbuiza Uwanja wa Taifa!.
     
  8. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Mkinga mmoja alikuwa anaendesha pikipiki wakati mvua inanyesha akaona ni vyema ageuze Koti lake mbele nyuma ili maji ya mvua yasiingie moja kwa moja kifuani, ghafla alivyokuwa anapita porini akamgonga swala wasamaria wema waliokuwa jirani wakamuokota na kuanza kumpatia huduma ya kwanza,cha kwanza wakagundua jamaa shingo imegeukia nyuma wakashauriana waigeuze ndipo walipomnyonga kwa kutojua amegeuza koti
     
  9. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 11, 2011
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    MUME: Mke wangu nimepata tatizo ofisini.MKE: Mume wangu unakosea kusema hivyo, sisi ni mwili mmoja, sema tumepata tatizo.MUME: Kweli mke wangu, TUMEZAA NA SECRETARI.
     
  10. Gurta

    Gurta JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 11, 2011
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    maweeeee
     
  11. B

    Bishweko JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 11, 2011
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    eh ahah thethe teh mmmmmh kwah kwah kwah kwahkwah hah teh t hu mha bha fhuuhu hah
     
  12. Likwanda

    Likwanda JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 11, 2011
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    kwi kwi kwi kwi kwi kwi............
     
  13. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Ajajajajajajajajajajajaaaaah!
     
  14. Vin Diesel

    Vin Diesel JF Gold Member

    #14
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Excellent Job!
     
  15. Mshume Kiyate

    Mshume Kiyate JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Zimetulia
     
  16. j

    joxin Member

    #16
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Kwel we excellent daah
     
  17. Mohamedi Mtoi

    Mohamedi Mtoi R I P

    #17
    Oct 11, 2011
    Joined: Dec 11, 2010
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    Mpemba mmoja alikuwa ana mfundisha mwanae kusoma.
    Akaanza a,e,i,o,u
    mara akaunganisha
    ba,be,bi,bo,bu
    mara
    mba, mbe, mbi,.... Mbu.
    Binti akauliza baba mbna ku'nruka ****!
    Baba: hiyo utaenda kuijulia kwa mmeo.
     
  18. mikatabafeki

    mikatabafeki JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Oct 11, 2011
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    mkuu nimekukubali...................hands down
     
  19. chapaa

    chapaa JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 11, 2011
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    Duuh!! you made my day
     
  20. pitbull

    pitbull JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 12, 2011
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    Mkuu umetisha
     
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