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Nini Cha Kufanya Ukishagundua Mwenzi Wako Anatembea Nje
2nd July 2009, 01:55 PM
Mmmh Ipo Kazi!
Source: How to Handle a Cheating Partner - wikiHow
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How to Handle a Cheating Partner
Many people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Although there may be two sides to the story, unfaithfulness is not acceptable and is emotionally harmful to the other spouse.
The person who cheats doesn’t easily fit into a single mold. There are those who will cheat once, feel badly about it, and never repeat their mistake. Some will continue the cheating pattern again and again until they are caught. Others make a lifestyle out of being unfaithful. If you have a need to know just how to handle a cheating partner, you must first decide how likely it is that they will repeat the same behavior over again. Then you have to think about whether you trust them enough to take their word for it, when they say they are 'sorry'. You must work hard to build trust that has been damaged
Steps
1. Consider the sincerity of the person who betrayed you when they ask for reconciliation. You cannot go to them; they have to come to you. Once they do, you have to be sure it will not happen again. Unless you know your partner very well and can account for their actions, you will probably not be able to reassure yourself that it was a one-time event. If you can get past all that, move the spotlight onto yourself.
2. Assure yourself you can live with the knowledge of your partner's betrayal in your relationship before you go any further. No one expects you to forget, but you have to be willing to forgive. Otherwise, your relationship may turn into a vicious cycle of mistrust, revenge and unspoken hate. If you say you will forgive, you have to mean it. Nevertheless, before you do, be sure that your partner understands the kind of irreversible damage they have committed.
3. Begin mending the relationship. It’s like going back to square one. You have to be sure the conditions that may have caused or allowed for the betrayal are eradicated from your relationship. For example, the person who your partner cheated with has to be out of the picture. No friendship, no once in a while gatherings--no contact whatsoever.
4. Dig deeper. Apart from staring at Internet porn or getting the seven-year itch for greener grass in the neighbor’s yard, the root cause of the problem has to be discovered, discussed and dealt with. Things between you and your partner will never be the same again, but with a little work, it can still be good. You have to find common ground, strengthen the love that remains and support one another in every way possible.
Tips
1. The best-case scenario for any type of reconciliation between two people when one has cheated are situations where the cheater admits to it. People who confess without having been caught or even suspected are unlikely to repeat their mistake. It might take a bit of prodding to discover the reason for their unfaithfulness, however, in most cases it’s because they were completely frustrated with their life.
2. It’s easy to believe that the person who cheats, cheats themselves more than anyone else by losing the ability to enjoy a meaningful relationship. However, many cheaters leave ruined lives in their wake. Whether it’s innocent children who end up in a broken home or a former partner who is left emotionally destroyed. Someone else always pays for what a cheater does.
3. If your partner has a history of cheating on you, and you suspect their 'remorse' is not real, don't kid yourself. They very likely have little respect for you, and are likely to continue their actions when they don't expect to get caught.
Warnings
The worst-case scenario for reconciliation involves people who cheat for selfish reasons. Although they may justify their actions with psychobabble, habitual cheaters will emotionally destroy many partners. They break families apart and go through many other relationships before stopping or simply running out of steam. These are nightmare partners that everyone should try to recognize and take extra caution to avoid. Unfortunately, they also tend to be extremely effective at deception and appear very desirable. Not surprisingly, these people are the hardest to walk away from.
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2nd July 2009, 01:55 PM
Re: Nini Cha Kufanya Ukishagundua Mwenzi Wako Anatembea Nje
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