Topic: Mdahalo: Kids Vs Spouses

Wanajumuiya salaam

Mie ODM wa wajukuu nimepitia sredi moja nikakutana na malumbano ya "who comes first" linapokuja swala la nani zaidi kati ya watoto Vs Mke/mme kwenye familia. Yaani who comes first kwenye kupenda, kujali, kujivunia, kujisifia etc.

Hebu angalieni hii misimamo

Wa kwanza

"My kids drive me crazy, i love them to the core...... they are sooo nice to me, and they are the force behind my search for a greener pasture, and no one can change it

I have never felt that love from anyone in my life, no broken promises, no late appointments, no excuses no questions and no arguments nor inspections and poking of my private life....they are just beautiful trusting creatures

Kwa wanangu, nothing comes before them, i can take bullets"........... MTM

Wa pili

"I love my kids more than their mum, period!
unconditional love!"..................... Mbu

Wa tatu

"Nyie watu sio kwamba mnatumia unvariable measures kupima upendo kwa wake/spouses wenu na watoto wenu?

Mnasema they have pure love, they have uncondition sijui nini, c'mon guys what do you expect? wabehave kama wake zenu kwani wao ni wake zenu? There is no way mtoto atakupenda tofauti kwa kuwa ni mtoto na katu huwezilinganisha trust yake yeye kama mwanao na ile itokayo kwa mkeo! Kila mmoja anaplay kutokana na nafasi yake katika maisha yako bwana hebu acheni hizo!
Mlishawahijiuliza how do we feel (and the same linaapply kwa wanaume) when you put much love, time kwa watoto wetu zaidi ya wenzi wetu?! au tunajiona ni right kwa kuwa tu ni right na mnaashumu inaeleweka kwa kuwa tu inaeleweka?".................... MwanajamiiOne

Source: http://www.jamiiforums.com/mahusiano...ere-any-3.html

Nilitaka niweke na mie kamsimamo kangu kule lakini nikaona hili linahitaji mjadala unaojitegemea.

Kwangu mie wife comes first kwa kuwa:

1. Nilimpenda yeye hata kabla hatujapata watoto
2. Tusingejaliwa kupata mtoto nisingekuwa na option, angebakia kuwa yeye
3. Yeye ndiye aliyenizalia hao watoto ambao wengine ndo wanasema "wanawapenda zaidi ya mama zao
4. Ndiye chaguo langu la ukweli, sina uhakika kama hao watoto ni damu yangu kiukweli
5. Ndiye msaada wangu mkuu napokuwa matatizoni, nikiugua anavyo nihangaikia, nyie acheni tu!
6. Nikirudi nimepiga maulabu yangu, ananifungulia mlango na kunitengea chakula bila kinyongo
7. Anahakikisha niko nadhifu,
8. Napokuwa nimechacha ananielewa na kunivumilia
9. Alikubali kwa hiyari yake kuyapiga kibuti midume yooooote iliyokuwa inamsarandia akaja kwangu tena kwa kiapo kuishi nami katika shida na raha mpaka Ziraili atakapoamua kufanya vitu vyake.


Msimamo wangu:
Raha kwa watoto ni kuwaona wazazi wakipendana na kisha wao wazazi kwa pamoja kuwapenda watoto.

Baada ya kusema hayo naomba kusikia na wengine wanasemaje.

Niko kitandani huku, nawaangalia tu.
Onyo: Hairuhusiwi kuchakachua.
Refarii wa Sredi: PAW.

I wish i could answer question but,i have nothing to say!But i think there all equal!

Wife/Spouses come first for the most issues because the health of marriage is what keeps the family together. If you keep kids above the wife/spouse all the time you are more likely to loose the wife/spouse to someone who puts him/her first. Then everybody gets a raw deal. The kids run close second and their needs are considered in our decisions

i have nothing to say........................... ...........

By The Finest

Wife/Spouses come first for the most issues because the health of marriage is what keeps the family together. If you keep kids above the wife/spouse all the time you are more likely to loose the wife/spouse to someone who puts him/her first. Then everybody gets a raw deal. The kids run close second and their needs are considered in our decisions

Jeeeez! leo umekunya mapwenti mjomba! Unanidai bia mbili!

By Bebii

i have nothing to say........................... ...........

Sure, you are still a kid!

By asprin

sure, you are still a kid!

rekebisha kauli yako babu kid? Mimi sio kid nitachakachua sasa hv hapa naweza kukuzaa wewe loh???????????

By Bebii

rekebisha kauli yako babu kid? Mimi sio kid nitachakachua sasa hv hapa naweza kukuzaa wewe loh???????????

Kasome kule juu, nani refarii wa hii sredi?

They are not equal my friend..........hayo ni mojawapo ya matunda mnayobarikiwa kwenye upendo/ndoa yenu na siku zote upendo wa mke/mume hauwezi linganishwa na wa watoto.
Mume/mke pamoja na mapenzi tuliyo nayo kwa watoto wanatakiwa kuendelea kuwa wa kwanza kwenye maisha yetu leo nisingejivuna na wale malaika wangu kama sio ile mbegu nzuri niliyotoa kwa baba yao ..........hapa kuna mengi ya kuandika nafikiri tunachanganya taste of time vs upendo

niulize tu mtoto anaweza kuwa na taste of time?MJI nisaidie kwenye hili

By Eiyer

I wish i could answer question but,i have nothing to say!But i think there all equal!

Mke wangu atatangulia daima,kama walivyosema wengine watoto ni matokeo ya mapenzi ya wazazi, halina ubishi nitawapenda na kujitolea kwao kwa kila hali lakini kimapenzi mama yao yuko nafasi ya kwanza.Naamini katika kumpenda/kumjali sana mama yao manake naamini ndiye 'kiungo mchezeshaji' na hii haitanipa shida kubwa ku-earn mapenzi ya watoto kwangu..

Chauro,upendo haubagui,kwamaana halisi ya upendo ni kuwa hakuna aliezaidi ya mwingine,labda kwa tafsiri potofu ya upendo!

By Chauro

They are not equal my friend..........hayo ni mojawapo ya matunda mnayobarikiwa kwenye upendo/ndoa yenu na siku zote upendo wa mke/mume hauwezi linganishwa na wa watoto.
Mume/mke pamoja na mapenzi tuliyo nayo kwa watoto wanatakiwa kuendelea kuwa wa kwanza kwenye maisha yetu leo nisingejivuna na wale malaika wangu kama sio ile mbegu nzuri niliyotoa kwa baba yao ..........hapa kuna mengi ya kuandika nafikiri tunachanganya taste of time vs upendo

niulize tu mtoto anaweza kuwa na taste of time?MJI nisaidie kwenye hili

Word.....!

Yaaaani Darling Shem this thread as much as it is a serious matter.... It has cracked me up in a really happy way.... (of coz nitaiprint na kupeleka sehemu husika ili mwenzangu afurahi...)

Back to Topic.... Mie nimewaelewa kabisa Mbu na MTM... Simply because sio kwamba wote walooana/walowahi oana walikua ni a perfect couple... One thing i know from MTM's admittance ni kwamba he appreciates his wife saana thou his above statement says as much as he appreciates her the love is not as great as kwa watoto wake (mayb sabb tu ya kua realistic kua the wife can mchangia, hivo the love not a guarantee...)

kwa mheshimiwa Moskwito from his admittance hapa jamvini ni kwamba alibwaga manyanga... Thus the children love to him and vice versa has always been constant rather than the wife...

Shem hata wewe nimekuelewa kabisa... Nafikiri hili limenifurahisha mimi na hata MJ1... Maana wanawake wote love having such a husband katika huo msimamo. Na bliv me you msimamo wako ndio msimamo wa wanaume wengi... Wanaume walo wengi akimpenda saana mwanamke hupenda na watoto wake pamoja.... Sometimes hata watoto ambao hajazaa nae... Na akimchukia mkewe hadi akamuacha hasa kama kamuacha kwa ajili ya nyumba ndogo... Hapo hadi watoto wanatelekezwa... Hivo shem am proud of you endelea kuongeza upendo kwa Mama Matesha...

Kwa upande wangu mwanamke i think you will understand nikisema watoto 1st... I have carried them for nine months... Thou ajabu ni kua love i feel for baba yao is the one which makes me feel like a true woman...

Kwangu mimi spouse comes first before kid. Swala la kizushi kwa wababa,ikitokea wife wako yuko labor na something happens and you as the hubby/dad unatakiwa uchague kuokoa maisha ya mmoja,who wil u save?wife au kid?

By AshaDii

Yaaaani Darling Shem this thread as much as it is a serious matter.... It has cracked me up in a really happy way.... (of coz nitaiprint na kupeleka sehemu husika ili mwenzangu afurahi...)

Back to Topic.... Mie nimewaelewa kabisa Mbu na MTM... Simply because sio kwamba wote walooana/walowahi oana walikua ni a perfect couple... One thing i know from MTM's admittance ni kwamba he appreciates his wife saana thou his above statement says as much as he appreciates her the love is not as great as kwa watoto wake (mayb sabb tu ya kua realistic kua the wife can mchangia, hivo the love not a guarantee...)

kwa mheshimiwa Moskwito from his admittance hapa jamvini ni kwamba alibwaga manyanga... Thus the children love to him and vice versa has always been constant rather than the wife...

Shem hata wewe nimekuelewa kabisa... Nafikiri hili limenifurahisha mimi na hata MJ1... Maana wanawake wote love having such a husband katika huo msimamo. Na bliv me you msimamo wako ndio msimamo wa wanaume wengi... Wanaume walo wengi akimpenda saana mwanamke hupenda na watoto wake pamoja.... Sometimes hata watoto ambao hajazaa nae... Na akimchukia mkewe hadi akamuacha hasa kama kamuacha kwa ajili ya nyumba ndogo... Hapo hadi watoto wanatelekezwa... Hivo shem am proud of you endelea kuongeza upendo kwa Mama Matesha...

Kwa upande wangu mwanamke i think you will understand nikisema watoto 1st... I have carried them for nine months... Thou ajabu ni kua love i feel for baba yao is the one which makes me a true woman...

Hahaha........dah! Shem umenishtua kama nlivokushtua kwenye sredi ya Nyumba ndogo LOL............. Ngoja niendelee kuwasoma na wengine.

Hivi shem kuwabeba tumboni kwa nine months ndo kunamtoa ndugu yangu kwanye namba moja? looooooooo

Mi mwenzenu naona watoto wametuteka kabisa. Siwezi kumpigia bamsapu simu nimuulize kama amekula wala yeye hapigi, lakini kwa watoto never miss, lazima dada aulizwe kama wamesharudi, then tuwaulize wenyewe. Mi na bamsapu tunasimuliana tukisharudi habari za lunch ya leo ilivyokuwa mbovu au bora tukisharudi home.... Kama ni suala la kutoka, nitatulizwa leo tuwapeleke wapi hawa yaani najumlishwa humo humo...
Lakini najionea poa tu kwa sababu na amini kwa sasa hivi hawa watoto ni tegemezi lakini wakishakua vizuri, tutarudi kwenye honey moon yetu maana tutabaki wawili tena kama zamani maana na wenyewe watakua na hamsini zao..

hv wanaume wanagawaje malove yao
wife?%
nyumba ndogo%?
Makid%? Hapo tena anagawa maana watoto wa kike hawawezi kupendwa sawa na wakiume.

By daughter

Kwangu mimi spouse comes first before kid. Swala la kizushi kwa wababa,ikitokea wife wako yuko labor na something happens and you as the hubby/dad unatakiwa uchague kuokoa maisha ya mmoja,who wil u save?wife au kid?

I will go for my wife.....PERIOD!

By The Finest

Wife/Spouses come first for the most issues because the health of marriage is what keeps the family together. If you keep kids above the wife/spouse all the time you are more likely to loose the wife/spouse to someone who puts him/her first. Then everybody gets a raw deal. The kids run close second and their needs are considered in our decisions

PA Hii post is deep....

Babu umenifurahisha sana.......................... ......
watu wengine hawajui hao watoto wanaowapenda zaidi ya spouses wao hawakuwepo wakati wanaanza mapenzi yao, hao ni matokeo tu. na mapenzi kwa hizo pande mbili ni tofauti.