JamiiSMS
    Show/Hide This

    Topic: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

    Report Post
    Page 4 of 15 FirstFirst ... 23456 14 ... LastLast
    Results 61 to 80 of 299
    1. Maindainda's Avatar
      Member Array
      Join Date : 1st June 2008
      Posts : 39
      Rep Power : 614
      Likes Received
      1
      Likes Given
      0

      Question Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Ndugu na rafiki zangu wa Jamii Forums,

      Naomba msaada katika jambo hili.

      Nina ndoa ya kama miaka kumi. Nina mume wangu ambae najua ananipenda, nami pia ninampenda. Miaka kadhaa iliyopita nilikutana na jambo ambalo limenitia simanzi sana na sijui hata nifanyeje, kuna wakati siamini kama ni jambo lililonitokea mimi maishani.

      Kwa kifupi ni kwamba nina mtoto ambae najua si wa mume wangu! Amelelewa na huyu baba bila kujua kwa upendo mkubwa, kulipa ada za shule na mahitaji yote. Kusema kweli haijakuwa jambo rahisi maana kila anapomuita baba mimi moyo wangu hujaa simanzi. It happenned that I was at a wrong place with a wrong guy and it happenned. Si tabia yangu na wala sikujidhania kwamba siku moja naweza kuisaliti ndoa yangu.

      Huyo baba mwenye mtoto ana mke, simpendi kimapenzi na wala hatuhusiani tena, ikiwa ni pamoja na kuwa hajawahi kumtunza mtoto huyu ingawa anaweza. Sikutaka afanye hivyo. Tatizo ni kuna wakati fulani aliwahi kusema kuwa atakuja kumchukua mtoto wake siku moja, kivipi sijui. Naona ana fujo maana sioni uwezekano wa jambo hili labda avunje ndoa yangu kwanza. Sio kutokana na sababu hii ila kwa muda mrefu tangu nikiwa na mimba ile nimetaka kumwambia mume wangu ukweli lakini nimeshindwa. Maisha ya masikitiko na kuwaza jamani naona nashindwa na nataka nimwambie ukweli na atoe hukumu yake.

      Naomba mnishauri hasa wanaume- ingekuwa wewe ungefanyaje? Nimwambie au niache?
      Hili ni tukio la kweli, naomba ushauri usiwe katika yafuatayo:
      1. Kusema kwamba mimi msaliti na mke mbaya-hilo nalijua na wengi wenu mnayajua haya na haitanisaidia sana.
      2. Kusema nimefanya ngono zembe nikapime ukimwi - nimepima na sina

      Naomba msaada.


    2. Tshala's Avatar
      Senior Member Array
      Join Date : 23rd May 2008
      Posts : 205
      Rep Power : 649
      Likes Received
      10
      Likes Given
      382

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Pole Dada,

      Nakuomba, kama ulivyoamua kukaa kimya kwa muda wote huo bila kumwambia your beloved husband!! basi uendelee kunyamaza, at least unayeumia for the time being ni wewe peke yako, imagine ukilitoa hilo bomu ni wangapi wataathirika????????? kaa kimya wewe na Mungu wako.

    3. Chuma's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 25th December 2006
      Posts : 1,464
      Rep Power : 974
      Likes Received
      12
      Likes Given
      4

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Msanii kaka ukimwi unatafuta mwenyewe...

      Hii ni kesi ngumu kiasi ...

      Ifuatayo inaweza kuwa majibu ya kesi yako...

      Habari insikitisha na inahuzunisha.

      Ningependa kusema yafuatayo kwa dada yetu. Nami ninasema haya kama muislamu, lakini kama mhusika si muislamu, basi ningemshauri aende kwa viongozi wa dini yake, au katika taasisi za kijamii zinazohusika na maswala ya kusaidia kina mama wenye matatizo ya ndoa, akapatiwe ushauri nasaha.

      Anyway, katika mafundisho ya mtume Muhammad (SAW) mtoto ni wa baba mwenye ndoa (MTOTO NI WA KITANDA) na mzinzi hana lake (MZINZI AKALE MAWE), kapoteza nguvu zake na muda wake na siku ya kiama atakuja kuadhibiwa na mola wake. Usijihisi unyonge, kata mawasiliano na huyo mtu kabisa, na akiendelea kukufuata fuata, tumia njia zote za halali kumzuia kwani anataka kukuvurugia maisha yako.

      Pamoja na kuwa nimesema hayo kuna maswala mawili matatu:
      Swala la kwanza ni la uzinzi na kutunza hesima ya ndoa. Kesi ya dada yetu huyu ni Case Study nzuri za athari ya mambo kama haya na inaweza ikampelekea mtu katika Dilemma na Stress ambazo hazina ufumbuzi sahihi. Ushauri wangu katika hili ni kuwa TUBU kwa mola wako, jiwekee ahadi ya kweli ya kutorudia tena, huku ukiendelea kujuta kwa yale uliyoyafanya.

      Kuhusu mumeo, jitahidi kumfanyia mema mengi sana, ili kujenga mazingira ya kuwa hata kama atajua kwa namna yoyote basi atakuwa tayari kukusamehe. Pia jitahidi kuwafanyia mema familia ya mumeo kwani katika jamii zetu za kiafrika (familia) nao pia wana mchango wao katika usalama na ufanisi wa maisha ya ndoa.

      La mwisho ni kuwa usimwambie mumeo, isipokuwa kama hakuna namna nyingine ya kuficha maovu ambayo yamepita. Nasema hivi kwa sababu mbili: Kwanza ni kuwa Mungu hapendi kutangaza / kueneza habari za maovu, isipokuwa kama unafanya hivyo ili kudai haki yako (Rejea 4:148). Sababu ya pili ni kuwa hatujui nini reaction ya huyo jamaa kama utamweleza habari kama hizo. Anaweza kuamua kukuuwa, hivyo utakuwa umejisababishia kifo au maangamizi, Jambo ambalo; again, ni haramu.

      Binafsi kama jambo kama hili litanitokea, my WORST possible reaction will be to divorce the woman, and let her free.


      hio nimeona kaka mmoja mwenye maarifa ya DINI ya Kiislam akijaribu kutoa ushauri wake, ukiona Haukutoshi, basi tafuta wengine...

    4. Chuma's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 25th December 2006
      Posts : 1,464
      Rep Power : 974
      Likes Received
      12
      Likes Given
      4

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Naomba Admin/Mods abadilishe Title iwe NIMEZINI NIKIWA NDANI YA NDOA...NIFANYEJE?

    5. Shishi's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 10th February 2008
      Posts : 1,252
      Rep Power : 873
      Likes Received
      22
      Likes Given
      15

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Dada Maindainda, its clear hapa options ni mbili tu, sema au usiseme, yaani hata ukiamua kwenda kumuitia malaika aje kuunleash the news the outcome will be the same, wanaume wengi 99% vigumu sana kwao kusamehe tendo kama hili, sio kama wanawake we are very forgiving. i still stick with my view kuwa nyamaza, omba msamaha kwa mwenyezi mungu akuondolee all the regret na kata links na huyo sperm donor.

      na hili nalo liwe somo kwa wanawake wengine wote, nakushkuru kwa kutuelimisha pia.i just would not want to be in your shoes!
      Mrs....all the way!!:-)))

    6. WomanOfSubstance's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 30th May 2008
      Posts : 5,480
      Rep Power : 63526
      Likes Received
      742
      Likes Given
      721

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      [QUOTE=Chuma;214137]Msanii kaka ukimwi unatafuta mwenyewe...

      Hii ni kesi ngumu kiasi ...

      Ifuatayo inaweza kuwa majibu ya kesi yako...
      [SIZE="3"]
      Habari insikitisha na inahuzunisha.


      Anyway, katika mafundisho ya mtume Muhammad (SAW) mtoto ni wa baba mwenye ndoa (MTOTO NI WA KITANDA) na mzinzi hana lake (MZINZI AKALE MAWE), kapoteza nguvu zake na muda wake na siku ya kiama atakuja kuadhibiwa na mola wake. Usijihisi unyonge, kata mawasiliano na huyo mtu kabisa, na akiendelea kukufuata fuata, tumia njia zote za halali kumzuia kwani anataka kukuvurugia maisha yako.
      Imetulia sana hii...
      La mwisho ni kuwa usimwambie mumeo, isipokuwa kama hakuna namna nyingine ya kuficha maovu ambayo yamepita. Nasema hivi kwa sababu mbili: Kwanza ni kuwa Mungu hapendi kutangaza / kueneza habari za maovu, isipokuwa kama unafanya hivyo ili kudai haki yako (Rejea 4:148). Sababu ya pili ni kuwa hatujui nini reaction ya huyo jamaa kama utamweleza habari kama hizo. Anaweza kuamua kukuuwa, hivyo utakuwa umejisababishia kifo au maangamizi, Jambo ambalo; again, ni haramu.

      Mie sio Muislam lakini nimeguswa sana...na nakubaliana na mshauri 100%
      Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.... Aristotle



    7. JF SMS Swahili

    8. Msanii's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 4th July 2007
      Posts : 6,369
      Rep Power : 2005
      Likes Received
      341
      Likes Given
      560

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Quote By Chuma View Post
      Naomba Admin/Mods abadilishe Title iwe NIMEZINI NIKIWA NDANI YA NDOA...NIFANYEJE?
      ....Mwenye mada atakubaliana na maoni yako????
      nadhani iwe hivi hivi kwani ameuliza swali lenye majibu meeeengi...

      Enewei ninakubaliana na posts za majibu yako
      Katiba mpya ituletee Taasisi imara na si viongozi imara- Msanii

      Kitendo Cha Kuitoa CCM Madarakani ni Kuwafumbua Macho na Kuwaonyesha Ukombozi wa Pili wenye Matumaini Kwa Uhai wa Taifa. - Kakobe
      [email protected]

    9. Msanii's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 4th July 2007
      Posts : 6,369
      Rep Power : 2005
      Likes Received
      341
      Likes Given
      560

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Quote By Chuma View Post
      Msanii kaka ukimwi unatafuta mwenyewe...

      Hii ni kesi ngumu kiasi ...

      Ifuatayo inaweza kuwa majibu ya kesi yako...

      Habari insikitisha na inahuzunisha.

      Ningependa kusema yafuatayo kwa dada yetu. Nami ninasema haya kama muislamu, lakini kama mhusika si muislamu, basi ningemshauri aende kwa viongozi wa dini yake, au katika taasisi za kijamii zinazohusika na maswala ya kusaidia kina mama wenye matatizo ya ndoa, akapatiwe ushauri nasaha.

      Anyway, katika mafundisho ya mtume Muhammad (SAW) mtoto ni wa baba mwenye ndoa (MTOTO NI WA KITANDA) na mzinzi hana lake (MZINZI AKALE MAWE), kapoteza nguvu zake na muda wake na siku ya kiama atakuja kuadhibiwa na mola wake. Usijihisi unyonge, kata mawasiliano na huyo mtu kabisa, na akiendelea kukufuata fuata, tumia njia zote za halali kumzuia kwani anataka kukuvurugia maisha yako.

      Pamoja na kuwa nimesema hayo kuna maswala mawili matatu:
      Swala la kwanza ni la uzinzi na kutunza hesima ya ndoa. Kesi ya dada yetu huyu ni Case Study nzuri za athari ya mambo kama haya na inaweza ikampelekea mtu katika Dilemma na Stress ambazo hazina ufumbuzi sahihi. Ushauri wangu katika hili ni kuwa TUBU kwa mola wako, jiwekee ahadi ya kweli ya kutorudia tena, huku ukiendelea kujuta kwa yale uliyoyafanya.

      Kuhusu mumeo, jitahidi kumfanyia mema mengi sana, ili kujenga mazingira ya kuwa hata kama atajua kwa namna yoyote basi atakuwa tayari kukusamehe. Pia jitahidi kuwafanyia mema familia ya mumeo kwani katika jamii zetu za kiafrika (familia) nao pia wana mchango wao katika usalama na ufanisi wa maisha ya ndoa.

      La mwisho ni kuwa usimwambie mumeo, isipokuwa kama hakuna namna nyingine ya kuficha maovu ambayo yamepita. Nasema hivi kwa sababu mbili: Kwanza ni kuwa Mungu hapendi kutangaza / kueneza habari za maovu, isipokuwa kama unafanya hivyo ili kudai haki yako (Rejea 4:148). Sababu ya pili ni kuwa hatujui nini reaction ya huyo jamaa kama utamweleza habari kama hizo. Anaweza kuamua kukuuwa, hivyo utakuwa umejisababishia kifo au maangamizi, Jambo ambalo; again, ni haramu.

      Binafsi kama jambo kama hili litanitokea, my WORST possible reaction will be to divorce the woman, and let her free.


      hio nimeona kaka mmoja mwenye maarifa ya DINI ya Kiislam akijaribu kutoa ushauri wake, ukiona Haukutoshi, basi tafuta wengine...
      Ushauri mzuri... lakini bado maindainda anayo nafasi ya kuchagua how to face the reality na consequences zake.....

      Ila ole wako maindainda endapo mumeo au jizi wanasoma humu utakuwa umeweka makaa ktk tanki la petrol
      Katiba mpya ituletee Taasisi imara na si viongozi imara- Msanii

      Kitendo Cha Kuitoa CCM Madarakani ni Kuwafumbua Macho na Kuwaonyesha Ukombozi wa Pili wenye Matumaini Kwa Uhai wa Taifa. - Kakobe
      [email protected]

    10. Azimio Jipya's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 27th November 2007
      Location : Universal Space Station
      Posts : 3,359
      Rep Power : 5477
      Likes Received
      1047
      Likes Given
      1739

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Quote By Maindainda View Post
      Wewe Azimio weweee, usitafute matatizo, shauri yako, pamoja na kusema kuwa uko simple, sijui kama kuna mwanamme simple katika kujua kuwa mkeo amefanyausaliti huu. Siwezi kutoa details zingine za mtoto, sorry.
      Agreed no more details!

      likely your in tough times at the moment....! Haya ndiyo mambo ya bloging..huwezi kujua ana blog na mkeo..au Mama...etc..anyway, That is Tech!

      Ok: Sawa niko simple very simple kwa kuwa na kwenda na REASONS and PRINCIPALS.

      NAJIELEZA:

      Na nikweli I know you about 95%.

      Tizama tena my last posting.

      Nimekupa roughly general picture kwanini ulitoka nje ya ndoa.

      Ni kakueleza kuwa ....technicaly it wasnt you...kuna kitu wanaita UNFINISHED BUSSINES IN UA UNCOSCIOUS MIND.

      Nimefanya analysisis ya kweli na ninakumabia..at the soul level..yuo r not that bad...! we know how to conect the dots...

      The same situation can happen kwa mwanamke mwingine lakini deep ...hana bonding na mumewe...Ningetoa majibu mengine kabisa..siunajua kuakaa ndani ya chumba kimoja kwa jina la ndoa..sio lazama kuwa ipo...wewe unayo ndoa mainda.... IT WAS JUST A BAD DREAM....! amka endelea na maisha na fuatia details nilizokupa so that hutelezi tena.

      If it was My wife.......akinimabia kama ulivyosema hapa completely under your situations.... namsamehe 100% with asurerance zote na wala simfuatilia kabisa....!

      Is nt that to be simple..!

      Sina hakika kabisa na Mumeo kama anafanana na mimi kiasi gani...ndio maana nakumbia ...dont bother her!
      Never Get Angry; Never Make Threat; Reason With People;
      "Napenda the logic of the words because in some ways it says about individual-not to use emotions-when scrutinizing something, whether it involves you or not" ...-by AshaDiii @ Jamiiforums 26th July 2011.


    11. Azimio Jipya's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 27th November 2007
      Location : Universal Space Station
      Posts : 3,359
      Rep Power : 5477
      Likes Received
      1047
      Likes Given
      1739

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Quote By Maindainda View Post
      Wewe Azimio weweee, usitafute matatizo, shauri yako, pamoja na kusema kuwa uko simple, sijui kama kuna mwanamme simple katika kujua kuwa mkeo amefanyausaliti huu. Siwezi kutoa details zingine za mtoto, sorry.
      Agreed no more details!

      likely your in tough times at the moment....! Haya ndiyo mambo ya bloging..huwezi kujua ana blog na mkeo..au Mama...etc..anyway, That is Tech!

      Ok: Sawa niko simple very simple kwa kuwa na kwenda na REASONS and PRINCIPALS.

      NAJIELEZA:

      Na nikweli I know you about 95%.

      Tizama tena my last posting.

      Nimekupa roughly general picture kwanini ulitoka nje ya ndoa.

      Ni kakueleza kuwa ....technicaly it wasnt you...kuna kitu wanaita UNFINISHED BUSSINES IN UA UNCOSCIOUS MIND.

      Nimefanya analysisis ya kweli na ninakumabia..at the soul level..yuo r not that bad...! we know how to conect the dots...

      The same situation can happen kwa mwanamke mwingine lakini deep ...hana bonding na mumewe...Ningetoa majibu mengine tofauti kabisa..siunajua kuakaa ndani ya chumba kimoja kwa jina la ndoa..sio lazama kuwa ipo...wewe unayo ndoa Mainda.... IT WAS JUST A BAD DREAM....! amka endelea na maisha na fuatia details nilizokupa .... so that hutelezi tena. it was nt you..it was" IT" deep n you!

      If it was My wife.......akinimabia kama ulivyosema hapa completely under your situations.... namsamehe 100% with asurerance zote na wala simfuatilii kabisa....!

      Is nt that not to be simple..?

      Sina hakika kabisa na Mumeo kama anafanana na mimi kiasi gani...ndio maana nakumbia ...dont bother him! Usifanye hayo majarabio...get the pain to your self cause I know ..you can hanlde your self much more better kuliko ku envolve onather person...!
      Never Get Angry; Never Make Threat; Reason With People;
      "Napenda the logic of the words because in some ways it says about individual-not to use emotions-when scrutinizing something, whether it involves you or not" ...-by AshaDiii @ Jamiiforums 26th July 2011.


    12. Kipanga's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 24th April 2008
      Posts : 684
      Rep Power : 753
      Likes Received
      6
      Likes Given
      0

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Naweza kuona ugumu wa kumueleza mumeo kuhusu suala kama hilo ingawa ni kweli wanaume tunatofautiana katika kupokea mambo mazito kama haya but sioni short cut kwako zaidi ya kuzungumza nae na kumueleza ukweli. Kwani kuendelea kukaa kimya utakuwa umekaa juu ya bomu ambalo linaweza kupasuka pasipo wewe kujiandaa...very dangerous...na hasa siku huyo mwenye mtoto akiamua kuja hapo kudai mtoto wake nina imani uta-collapse kwani hujui ni lini na muda gani utakuwa umevuliwa nguo hadhari...

      Kitu muhimu ninachokiona hapo utakapoamua kumueleza kuwa tayari kwa lolote atakaloamua au litakalotokea maana huenda ukawa umeanzisha tatizo kubwa kuliko unavyodhani...kwani you can't guarantee na atakachoamua hata kama unadai anakupenda. Kwetu wanaume kugundua kuwa mtoto unayemlea si wako ni jambo zito sana..So jenga mazingira mweleze ukweli ukijua kabisa kuwa unaweza kupata matokeo mabaya au mazuri so get ready for that.....Pole na iwe fundisho kwa wengine muache tabia ya kuficha mambo sensitive kama haya ni hatari...

    13. Msanii's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 4th July 2007
      Posts : 6,369
      Rep Power : 2005
      Likes Received
      341
      Likes Given
      560

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Kwani Maindainda ungependa tukupe ushauri wa aina gani??? maana tumejimwaga hapa lakini inaonekana kana kwamba labda unatutoa nje ya zile mada zetu za kupasua vichwa....
      Just tell the board ni ushauri upi unakupa confort au what was you thinking kuwa solution?? Kwani tukienda hivihivi sana tusije tukakuomba namba za simu na tukajiingiza mtegoni bureeee... ohooo!
      Katiba mpya ituletee Taasisi imara na si viongozi imara- Msanii

      Kitendo Cha Kuitoa CCM Madarakani ni Kuwafumbua Macho na Kuwaonyesha Ukombozi wa Pili wenye Matumaini Kwa Uhai wa Taifa. - Kakobe
      [email protected]

    14. Mbu's Avatar
      JF Gold Member Array
      Join Date : 11th January 2007
      Location : Maji Machafu
      Posts : 12,125
      Rep Power : 1573595
      Likes Received
      6096
      Likes Given
      7642

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      It happenned that I was at a wrong place with a wrong guy and it happenned. Si tabia yangu na wala sikujidhania kwamba siku moja naweza kuisaliti ndoa yangu.

      Huyo baba mwenye mtoto ana mke, simpendi kimapenzi na wala hatuhusiani tena, ikiwa ni pamoja na kuwa hajawahi kumtunza mtoto huyu ingawa anaweza. Sikutaka afanye hivyo. Tatizo ni kuna wakati fulani aliwahi kusema kuwa atakuja kumchukua mtoto wake siku moja, kivipi sijui. Naona ana fujo maana sioni uwezekano wa jambo hili labda avunje ndoa yangu kwanza. Sio kutokana na sababu hii ila kwa muda mrefu tangu nikiwa na mimba ile nimetaka kumwambia mume wangu ukweli lakini nimeshindwa. Maisha ya masikitiko na kuwaza jamani naona nashindwa na nataka nimwambie ukweli na atoe hukumu yake.

      Naomba mnishauri hasa wanaume- ingekuwa wewe ungefanyaje? Nimwambie au niache?
      ...Dada Mainda kesi yako inafanana na yangu kwa namna fulani, tofauti yake ni kwamba "mpaka sasa" nastahmili na kuridhia sababu za huyo mzazi mwenzangu, ikiwemo kutomchanganya mtoto na wababa wawili!...

      Inaniuma, lakini sina budi kufa na tai shingoni. Sitaki kuharibu uhusiano wa huyo mw'mke na mumewe. Kuna 'emptiness' fulani moyoni mwangu kujua na mtoto na fulani lakini huyo mtoto hajui kuwa mimi ni baba yake. Jambo linalofanyisha ugumu zaidi ni pale huyo mama anapowasiliana nami kuhitaji matumizi fulani fulani kuhusu huyo mtoto, maana inakuwa kama kaniweka kwenye rubber band, anavuta kisha anaachia... ni bora kama nawe unafanya hivyo uache!

      Back in my mind, najiuliza siku huyo mtoto akija gundua kuwa yule baba si babaake (biological), psychological impact yake itakuwaje? Mimi naamini wa muhimu kujulishwa ni mtoto iwapo tu kutakuwa na umuhimu wa kufanya hilo na wakati ukiwa muafaka.

      The nightmare scenario ni pale huyo mtoto huko 'ukubwani' atapokuja ku fall-in love na ndugu yake (half brother/sister), maana dhambi ya 'uzinifu' ni sawa ni ile methali ya mla kuku wa mwenziwe miguu humuelekea, itakurudia kwa namna moja au nyingine, ilmuradi ije kukuumbua, tena kwa wakati wala usoutarajia.

      Hayo ni maoni yangu tu.
      :


    15. Maindainda's Avatar
      Member Array
      Join Date : 1st June 2008
      Posts : 39
      Rep Power : 614
      Likes Received
      1
      Likes Given
      0

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Pole sana Mchongoma,

      Kutaka hela kwa huyo jamaa nakuchukulia kama ni kumdhalilisha mzee wangu, siwezi katukatu. Yani kuna jamaa huko analisha familia yake huku yeye anapita barabarani kifua mbele kuwa anatunza familia? hapana siwezi. Ila wewe unanishangaza pia, sasa wajisikia vibaya na baba mlezi atajisikiaje kwakupoteza hela,muda wake na jasho lake kumlea mwanao? We vumlia tu bwana, labda baba mlezi hana uwezo sana.

      Please nijibu maswali yangu haya

      1.Sasa nini unataka iwe hatma ya mtoto wako na wewe?
      2.Unatamani nini kitokee ili ukae na mwanao?
      3. Waweza kufanya nini ili ukae na mwanao?
      4. Una hisia gani juu ya huyo mwanamke, maisha yake au ndoa yake - toa hisia zozote nzuri au mbaya.
      5. Tell me more about that emptiness feeling that you have.


      MSANII,
      Kuhusu kutafuta mke aliyeachika aliyezaa nje ya ndoa - kweli wewe ni msanii!

      Pia naelewa risks za kutoa taarifa hii ya ufisadi wangu (siku hizi kila kitu ni ufisadi hata neno limepoteza maana yake)!

      Mzee na biological father (jina la heshima alilopewa kuliko yote humu ndani)wanasoma JF? Sijui.......... I reserve my comments.

      Mimi sitaki ushauri wa mwelekeo fulani. Kwa asilimia kubwa nimeshapata picha ya nini nitafanya au sitafanya, ila jimwageni zaidi naendelea kujipanga zaidi.

      Nadhani tukibadilisha title tutapoteza mwelekeo. Ukisema title iwe - NIMETOKA NJE YA NDOA NIFANYEJE - majibu yatakuwa ni kuhusu kitendo na sio ufanyeje baada ya kitendo na matunda ya kitendo kutokea. Msibadili tafadhali.

      Nimegundua kuwa si wanawake tu wanabezwa kwa jambo kama langu. Mfano majina aliyopewa huyo jamaa ni kama - JIZI, JAMBAZI, TAAHIRA, MWIZI, TRESPASSER. inaonyesha mambo haya hayakubaliki hata kama yanafanyika.

      Tuendelee kidogo, nadhani tunakaribia mwisho. Nimefurahi kusikia kuwa kuna wanaojifunza kutokana na hii story.

    16. Msanii's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 4th July 2007
      Posts : 6,369
      Rep Power : 2005
      Likes Received
      341
      Likes Given
      560

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Quote By Maindainda View Post
      ...................MSANII,
      Kuhusu kutafuta mke aliyeachika aliyezaa nje ya ndoa - kweli wewe ni msanii!

      Pia naelewa risks za kutoa taarifa hii ya ufisadi wangu (siku hizi kila kitu ni ufisadi hata neno limepoteza maana yake)!

      Mzee na biological father (jina la heshima alilopewa kuliko yote humu ndani)wanasoma JF? Sijui.......... I reserve my comments.

      Mimi sitaki ushauri wa mwelekeo fulani. Kwa asilimia kubwa nimeshapata picha ya nini nitafanya au sitafanya, ila jimwageni zaidi naendelea kujipanga zaidi.

      Nadhani tukibadilisha title tutapoteza mwelekeo. Ukisema title iwe - NIMETOKA NJE YA NDOA NIFANYEJE - majibu yatakuwa ni kuhusu kitendo na sio ufanyeje baada ya kitendo na matunda ya kitendo kutokea. Msibadili tafadhali.

      Nimegundua kuwa si wanawake tu wanabezwa kwa jambo kama langu. Mfano majina aliyopewa huyo jamaa ni kama - JIZI, JAMBAZI, TAAHIRA, MWIZI, TRESPASSER. inaonyesha mambo haya hayakubaliki hata kama yanafanyika.

      Tuendelee kidogo, nadhani tunakaribia mwisho. Nimefurahi kusikia kuwa kuna wanaojifunza kutokana na hii story.

      Hayo majina mawili niliyobold nilitoa mimi ktk posts zangu....
      Jizi nilitumia as nickname kwani si busara kwa mtu kuseduce mke wa mtu akitumia udhaifu wa hisia za mwanamke ili kumuwini... halafu angelikuwa na busara pia asingetoa vitisho kuwa atakuja kumchukua mwanae hata iweje ambapo matokeo yake amekuachia mzigo wa mawazo na simanzi on how to solve this.
      Trespasser ni jina ambalo linatumika katika terms za sheria kuhusu mtu ambaye ameingia kusikonajili yeye kuingia, na hata ktk sheria za ndoa mtu anayeingilia mahusiano ya wenye ndoa anaitwa trespasser.... Nadhani nimejitahidi kubehave kutokutunga jina lolote wewe kwani siodhani ndicho ulichokifuata hapa. Hapa umefuata ushauri ili uupime na kuweka malengo yako in taticks....

      Naombe tu usiachike ila ukiachika ujue huku kuna nafasi kibaoo haina mjazaji....
      Katiba mpya ituletee Taasisi imara na si viongozi imara- Msanii

      Kitendo Cha Kuitoa CCM Madarakani ni Kuwafumbua Macho na Kuwaonyesha Ukombozi wa Pili wenye Matumaini Kwa Uhai wa Taifa. - Kakobe
      [email protected]

    17. Mbu's Avatar
      JF Gold Member Array
      Join Date : 11th January 2007
      Location : Maji Machafu
      Posts : 12,125
      Rep Power : 1573595
      Likes Received
      6096
      Likes Given
      7642

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Quote By Maindainda View Post

      Please nijibu maswali yangu haya

      1.Sasa nini unataka iwe hatma ya mtoto wako na wewe?
      ...Binafsi nataka hata iwe leo huyo mtoto atambulike rasmi wangu, lakini mazingira je???, yataruhusu hilo liwe? kumbuka, tangu azaliwe anamjua baba ni huyo aliyemlea tangu anapata akili mpaka hii leo. YEYE mtoto akishaujua ukweli ndio atapomua lipi alikubali, aidha kukubali kwamba ana baba mlezi, na baba mzazi, ama kuukubali ukweli upande mmoja kuwa ana baba mzazi tu, au baba mlezi tu. Kumbuka yote haya yanachukua muda sana. Lazima mtoto apewe muda wa ku face reality!, ndio maana nikasema 'kwa muda muafaka', meaning hata akiwa mtu mzima mwenye uwezo wa kuchanganua mambo, although time lost will be lost forever.

      ...am a patient bird!


      2.Unatamani nini kitokee ili ukae na mwanao?
      ...nishajibu hapo juu...labda kwa kuongezea ni MAMA wa mtoto atoke clean juu ya hili, the ball is on her hands. She's a nice lady, she doesnt deserve another 'heartbraker' eti tu sababu mtoto keshakuwa mkubwa, sasa nataka mtoto wangu. Nitakuwa nahatarisha ndoa yake kama sio maisha yake/yao. Definately hawa wawili (Mume, mtoto) watakuwa hurt kutokana na ukweli huo, ndio maana nikasema Only when the time is right...! rmbr; It takes a man to be a father, inawezekana huyo mume ni Baba na mume mbora kuliko mimi!

      3. Waweza kufanya nini ili ukae na mwanao?


      ...Sitalazimisha hili jambo litokezee, ila nitajitahidi kwa kadri ya uwezo wangu kuhakikisha najua maendeleo ya huyo mtoto,na kila inapobidi kusaidia maendeleo yake bila kuathiri malezi yake. Mama yake pekee ndie nilomwachia uamuzi wa mwisho, akiamua kutoa utambulisho rasmi, na mtoto akiamua kuishi na mimi woow, furaha yangu itakuwa imekamilika!...




      4. Una hisia gani juu ya huyo mwanamke, maisha yake au ndoa yake - toa hisia zozote nzuri au mbaya.

      ...She deserves the best, najua anaishi maisha ya kimtego mtego, sawa na kushikilia bomu ambalo tayari lishanyofolewa pin, wakati wowote likipata mtikisiko litalipuka. So long as nishamhakikishia I wont interfere,na assurance yakuwa 'only when the time is right'!,

      ... emotional consequenses zinatisha, watu wanachinjana kwa haya mambo, hayahitaji papara... Ila namhrumia siku ukweli ukija julikana, ingawa nitajitahidi kadri iwezekanavyo kumhakikishia mtoto kuwa (in a nutshell) "lisilobudi hutendwa"!


      5. Tell me more about that emptiness feeling that you have.
      ...hard to explain, ni sawa na missing link kwenye jig saw, ...pengine ni kwasababu pia na watoto wa jinsia moja , na huyo ni jinsia tofauti...Strange but true!, ...birthdays, homeworks, jinsi anavyokua, maongezi yake, tabia zake, udhaifu wake, so many things ambazo unajua wanao walivyo, lakini somewhere in the oblivion kuna mmoja usomjua lakini wakati huo huo "najiandaa" kupambana na maswali yake iwapo kuna siku nitakuja kutana naye, kufahamiana naye na kumjua jinsi alivyo!

      I hope sijaku distract sana kwenye ukweli, labda unafikiria huyo mwanaume mwingine (kama mimi) atakuwa anafikiria nini, Kumbuka, hatuko sawa, japo kuna mambo yatashabihiana.

      Vile vile nakuasa tena na tena, Only when you think the time is right ndio hapo uumwage mtama, consequenses zake ni kubwa kuliko unavyozifikiria, kati ya Mumeo au mwanao kuna mmoja itamuathiri zaidi kisaikolojia lakini ukweli lazima siku moja uuseme, usiende na 'siri' kaburini.
      :


    18. BAK's Avatar
      JF Tanzanite Member Array
      Join Date : 11th February 2007
      Location : Mfaranyaki
      Posts : 31,479
      Rep Power : 19996344
      Likes Received
      13173
      Likes Given
      14371

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Quote By mchongoma View Post
      [COLOR="darkred"]...

      ...nishajibu hapo juu...labda kwa kuongezea ni MAMA wa mtoto atoke clean juu ya hili, the ball is on her hands. She's a nice lady, she doesnt deserve another 'heartbraker' eti tu sababu mtoto keshakuwa mkubwa, sasa nataka mtoto wangu. Nitakuwa nahatarisha ndoa yake kama sio maisha yake/yao. Definately hawa wawili (Mume, mtoto) watakuwa hurt kutokana na ukweli huo, ndio maana nikasema Only when the time is right...! rmbr; It takes a man to be a father, inawezekana huyo mume ni Baba na mume mbora kuliko mimi!




      ...Sitalazimisha hili jambo litokezee, ila nitajitahidi kwa kadri ya uwezo wangu kuhakikisha najua maendeleo ya huyo mtoto,na kila inapobidi kusaidia maendeleo yake bila kuathiri malezi yake. Mama yake pekee ndie nilomwachia uamuzi wa mwisho, akiamua kutoa utambulisho rasmi, na mtoto akiamua kuishi na mimi woow, furaha yangu itakuwa imekamilika!...





      ...She deserves the best, najua anaishi maisha ya kimtego mtego, sawa na kushikilia bomu ambalo tayari lishanyofolewa pin, wakati wowote likipata mtikisiko litalipuka. So long as nishamhakikishia I wont interfere,na assurance yakuwa 'only when the time is right'!,

      ... emotional consequenses zinatisha, watu wanachinjana kwa haya mambo, hayahitaji papara... Ila namhrumia siku ukweli ukija julikana, ingawa nitajitahidi kadri iwezekanavyo kumhakikishia mtoto kuwa (in a nutshell) "lisilobudi hutendwa"!




      ...hard to explain, ni sawa na missing link kwenye jig saw, ...pengine ni kwasababu pia na watoto wa jinsia moja , na huyo ni jinsia tofauti...Strange but true!, ...birthdays, homeworks, jinsi anavyokua, maongezi yake, tabia zake, udhaifu wake, so many things ambazo unajua wanao walivyo, lakini somewhere in the oblivion kuna mmoja usomjua lakini wakati huo huo "najiandaa" kupambana na maswali yake iwapo kuna siku nitakuja kutana naye, kufahamiana naye na kumjua jinsi alivyo!

      I hope sijaku distract sana kwenye ukweli, labda unafikiria huyo mwanaume mwingine (kama mimi) atakuwa anafikiria nini, Kumbuka, hatuko sawa, japo kuna mambo yatashabihiana.

      Vile vile nakuasa tena na tena, Only when you think the time is right ndio hapo uumwage mtama, consequenses zake ni kubwa kuliko unavyozifikiria, kati ya Mumeo au mwanao kuna mmoja itamuathiri zaidi kisaikolojia lakini ukweli lazima siku moja uuseme, usiende na 'siri' kaburini.

      Naam, umesema kweli tupu hapo. Jambo hili linaweza lisiishie tu kwenye kuachana. Mume anaweza kuuwa na yeye pia kujiua hili jambo ni zito sana. Kuna tofauti kubwa ya mwanamke kutembea nje lakini hakupata mimba na mwanamke kutembea nje akapata mimba na kujua mimba si ya mume wake akafanya siri miaka yote hiyo na mume akilea mtoto na kumuhudumia kwa mapenzi ya mzazi, halafu anakuja kuambiwa mtoto si wake. Ni bomu kubwa sana ni sawa sawa na kupigwa mkuki wa moyoni na likilipuka linaweza kuwa na madhara makubwa sana, ndiyo maana nimempa hongera Abunuwas he is very rare human being and very very difficult to find on this planet.
      Let your graceful words fly out into the World, carried on winds of courage, imagination and joy. Let them inspire others to step into action

    19. Msanii's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 4th July 2007
      Posts : 6,369
      Rep Power : 2005
      Likes Received
      341
      Likes Given
      560

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Nasaha
      Someni Law of Marriage Act of Tanzania, 1971 Cap 29 R.E. 2002 (LMA) muone sheria inasemaje ktk hilo. Mnapotetea emotional za mtu kuwa ana hamu ya kuishi na mwanae huku ameshatenda kosa against jamhuri kwa kuingilia mahusiano halali ya ndoa ya mtu ni sawa na kukubali kuwa walioiba EPA warudishe vijisent and them walk free....
      Ni kweli kwamba biological terms ndizo zinazodetarmine uhalisia wa wazazi wa mtoto. Ktk Bible imeandikwa kwamba mtu hataachana na mkewe ila kwa sababu ya uasherati.... Haijasemwa UZINZI na mjue uzinzi ni tofauti na uasherati ingawa kivitendo inaonekana ni same-same. Uasherati unahesabiwa pale ambapo wawili wamechumbiana na posa zishachukua nafasi, hapo kiBible inahesabika kuwa fulani ni wafulani hivyo wanasubiri kukasimishana ktk shughuli ya harusi. Hivyo mtu ktk ile hali ya uchumba akijifanya macho juu akajimix kingono na mtu mwingine hapo atakuwa ametenda uasherati. Ikumbukwe kuwa uasherati ni matukio ya kingono yafanywayo na watu ambao hawana ndoa yaani mtu ambaye hajaoa akiwa anatenda ngono hata na yule ambaye emeoa au kuolewa atakuwa amefanya uasherati ila mtu yeyote aliyefanya tendo la ngono kinyume na mumewe/mkewe hata kama akitembea na ambaye hayuko ndani ya ndoa, mtu huyo anakuwa amezini. Hapo Bible haitoi ruhusa kwa mzinzi kuachwa maana aichokiunganisha Mungu (ndoa) mwanadamu asikitenganishe. Ila kwa tafsiri zetu duniani ktk sheria zetu imewekwa uzinzi unaweza kukoleza talaka... Haidhuru kuwa sheria ambazo tumeweka ambazo nature inazi-accept ni muhimu kuziobserve....

      Mzee Mchongoma nakuhurumia sna kwa kupanda mbegu ktk shamba ambalo si lako tena bila ruhusa ya mwenyeshamba halafu unataka ku-claim mazao.... Nakushauri jikaze kiume, kubali mtoto awe kwa baba mlezi ili upate THAWABU na toba. Hebu fikiria mkeo akuambie amezaa na rafiki yako, try to take a sip on that uone how it touch...

      Maindainda, Kwa kuwa umekuwa mkweli na mmekutana humu watu wenye case moja ila target tofauti, nadhani jikaze umkabili mumeo ila tumia wazee wenye hekima kuweza ku ease situation halafu ndipo utajua endapo umhusishe mtoto au la.

      Sisi kwetu tupo kama nane hivi (watoto), lakini tulikuwa hatujui kama mdingi alitembea nje ya reli halafu ana mtoto. ilituchukua lifetime (secondary level) mpaka tumekuwa kuja kugundua ingawa baba na mama walikuwa wanajua na ilikuwa solved... Tulipogundua kuwa tuna dada nje, tukamface mdingi kuwa tunamtaka dada yetu na alipoona tumezidi unga alimleta na tunaye mpaka leo na anahesabika as mtoto mwenzetu na tumehakikisha haki zote za level ya uzaliwa wake zipo observed.... Ila tukijua how the mistake occur tumemshauri mdingi aache kabisa even kuwasiliana na mama mtoto. kama akimtaka aende mahakamani ili sheria iamue.... Ingawa tunamhesabu kama mama mdogo ila tunamjali dada yetu ili asijisikie mwanambaya.

      Maindainda usiachike tu... ukiachika still nafasi (vacant) inaendelea kukua huku
      Katiba mpya ituletee Taasisi imara na si viongozi imara- Msanii

      Kitendo Cha Kuitoa CCM Madarakani ni Kuwafumbua Macho na Kuwaonyesha Ukombozi wa Pili wenye Matumaini Kwa Uhai wa Taifa. - Kakobe
      [email protected]

    20. Maindainda's Avatar
      Member Array
      Join Date : 1st June 2008
      Posts : 39
      Rep Power : 614
      Likes Received
      1
      Likes Given
      0

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Mchongoma,

      Nimekuelewa, thanks. Nadhani tatizo kubwa lako ni hiyo jinsia tofauti maana watoto unao. If,I may ask, would you have felt differently if that child was of same sex like those at home?

      Lakini, kama mtoto anapata malezi mazuri, anakua, kwanini unataka akutambue kuwa wewe ni baba yake siku moja? Umpe jina lako au?Hivi akikuita kikao wewe na mama yake kuwahoji mlivyofanya hutaona aibu? Kwanini unamtaka at some point kama anaendelea vizuri, mi nashauri kula jiwe unless yule mama ataachika kwa sababu yoyote ile au yule baba atagundua na kumkataa. Dont pressurize that woman to say or do anything pls.

      Mwanamke wa kawaida hawezi kumuita mtoto wake pembeni na kumwambia baba yako ni mwingine wakati analelewa na baba mwingine. Protect her/him from this please. Mtamchanganya mtoto atahisi ha-fit hapo nyumbani wala huko kwako kwenye wengine, mwishowe ataamua kula unga, au ulevi na kukimbilia ktk mahusiano ya ma-boyfriend au ma-girlfriend kadhaa akitafuta mtu wake atakaemjali, who may take advantage na kum-break zaidi na zaidi. Utampoteza mtoto baba, shauri yako.

      INaona na mimi nimetoa ushauri leo. Mengi nimejifunza humu na nakaribia kuhitimu na kuhitimisha.

    21. Msanii's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 4th July 2007
      Posts : 6,369
      Rep Power : 2005
      Likes Received
      341
      Likes Given
      560

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      kudos maindainda
      Katiba mpya ituletee Taasisi imara na si viongozi imara- Msanii

      Kitendo Cha Kuitoa CCM Madarakani ni Kuwafumbua Macho na Kuwaonyesha Ukombozi wa Pili wenye Matumaini Kwa Uhai wa Taifa. - Kakobe
      [email protected]

    22. Maindainda's Avatar
      Member Array
      Join Date : 1st June 2008
      Posts : 39
      Rep Power : 614
      Likes Received
      1
      Likes Given
      0

      Default Re: Mtoto wa Nje ya Ndoa

      Mchongoma,
      There is no right time for you to get that child or for that woman to come clean. Msahau endelea na maisha litakalotokea baadae kwa bahati mbaya utalijua huko mbele kwa mbele.

      Unavyosema hivyo - right time...... - namkumbuka jamaa alivyosema kuna siku atakuja mchukua mwanawe, jamani nabata ushungu ndani ya LOHO mimi! Kwanza nina reservations nae, sitaki hata amlee mwanangu heri nimlee mwenyewe (simchukii, pls understand)

    23. JF SMS Swahili

    Page 4 of 15 FirstFirst ... 23456 14 ... LastLast

    Similar Topics

    1. Tetesi: Jay zee ana mtoto wa siri nje ya ndoa
      By lodrick in forum Celebrities Forum
      Replies: 4
      Last Post: 28th September 2011, 10:54
    2. Mtoto katika ndoa hudumisha mahusiano?
      By Ulimakafu in forum Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki
      Replies: 27
      Last Post: 11th August 2011, 03:42
    3. Sheria inasemaje kuhusu mtoto wa nje ya ndoa?
      By Leornado in forum Jukwaa la Sheria (The Law Forum)
      Replies: 15
      Last Post: 14th July 2011, 11:31
    4. Mume 'ameamua' kuwa na mtoto 'nje ya ndoa'!!!
      By linda0169 in forum Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki
      Replies: 67
      Last Post: 10th June 2010, 04:42
    5. Ndoa ya mtoto wa Mungai bado kitendawili
      By Pdidy in forum Celebrities Forum
      Replies: 22
      Last Post: 27th February 2009, 21:24

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •  

    Who are WE?

    JamiiForums is a 'User Generated Content' site; anyone can register (MUST) and comment or start a new topic.

    You are always welcome! Read more...

    Where are we?

    We have our offices in Dar es Salaam but we still work virtually.

    For anything related to this site please Contact us.

    Contact us now...

    DISCLAIMER

    JamiiForums, its partners, affiliates and advertisers are not responsible for the content of threads/topics that are submitted by users..

    Read more...

    Forum Rules

    JamiiForums is moderated under the rules set by users and moderators to safeguard you.

    You MUST read them and comply accordingly. Read more...

    Privacy Policy

    We are committed to respecting your privacy rights when visiting any JamiiForums.com page, such as this one.

    Read our Privacy Policy. Proceed here...