Topic: Spleen

when low skies weightier than a coffin-lid
cast on the moaning soul their weary blight,
and from the whole horizon's murky grid
its grey light drips more dismal than the night;

when earth's a dungeon damp whose chill appals,
in which — a fluttering bat — my Hope, alone
buffets with timid wing the mouldering walls
and beats her head against the dome of stone;

when close as prison-bars, from overhead,
the clouds let fall the curtain of the rains,
and voiceless hordes of spiders come, to spread
their infamous cobwebs through our darkened brains,

explosively the bells begin to ring,
hurling their frightful clangour toward the sky,
as homeless spirits lost and wandering
might raise their indefatigable cry;

and ancient hearses through my soul advance
muffled and slow; my Hope, now pitiful,
weeps her defeat, and conquering Anguish plants
his great black banner on my cowering skull.

— Baudelaire, Les Fleurs du Mal
English translation by Lewis Piaget Shanks, Flowers of Evil


Painting: Anguish by Archan Nair

By Azimio Jipya

Didnt see the link...!!

Now, beyond rhymes there is another rule to be follower while writing poems, it is the rule of rhythm. As you can see in the Spleen from Baudelaire, each verse (line) contains exactly the same number of syllabi. it is not very obvious here because this is a translation and it was already hard enough to get rhymes, but here are some good examples:Mwenziyo unanikosha! as you can see, the rule applies to Swahili poems too.

By Roulette

Now, beyond rhymes there is another rule to be follower while writing poems, it is the rule of rhythm. As you can see in the Spleen from Baudelaire, each verse (line) contains exactly the same number of syllabi. it is not very obvious here because this is a translation and it was already hard enough to get rhymes, but here are some good examples:Mwenziyo unanikosha! as you can see, the rule applies to Swahili poems too.

I have gone all the thread ... mwenzio unanikosha!

Soon I will write the swahili poem ... BUT,

Just tell me exactly what is this you said is ....
Each verse contains exactly the same number of sillabi AND What is the Rule of rhythm!

Please, I know you don't mind, show the simple examples!!

By Azimio Jipya

I have gone all the thread ... mwenzio unanikosha!

Soon I will write the swahili poem ... BUT,

Just tell me exactly what is this you said is ....
Each verse contains exactly the same number of sillabi AND What is the Rule of rhythm!

Please, I know you don't mind, show the simple examples!!

You need to write in a way that each verse contains exactly the same numbe of syllabe (generally sixteen in swahili, but could vary). This is the rule, and those there are the examples.

By Roulette

You need to write in a way that each verse contains exactly the same numbe of syllabe (generally sixteen in swahili, but could vary). This is the rule, and those there are the examples.

Understood in this case you dont have to go the other thread ...unanikosha!! This is enough!! Thanks!

English only

By Roulette

You need to write in a way that each verse contains exactly the same number of syllabe (generally sixteen in swahili, but could vary). This is the rule, and those there are the examples.

Roulette, I think I need help!!

I failed to get to know what exactly do you count to get the number sixteen! The syllable you count?

... Can you show me in here ...

Salamu natuma kwako, naomba uzipokee
Nauliza hali yako, nataka nikujulie
Barua hii ni yako, ujumbe uusikie
Kwa pozi na maumbile, mwenziyo unanikosha

Where is the syllable, and where is the sixteen .....?

By Azimio Jipya

Roulette, I think I need help!!

I failed to get to know what exactly do you count to get the number sixteen! The syllable you count?

... Can you show me in here ...

Sa (1) la(2) mu(3) na(4)tu(5)ma(6) kwa(7)ko(8), na(9)o(10)mba(11) u(12)zi(13)po(14)ke(15)e(16)
Na(1)u(2)li(3)za(4) ha(5)li(6) ya(7)ko(8), na(9)ta(10)ka(1) ni(12)ku(13)ju(14)li(15)e(16)
Barua hii ni yako, ujumbe uusikie (same)
Kwa pozi na maumbile, mwenziyo unanikosha(same)

Where is the syllable, and where is the sixteen .....?

For more about poetry please read this: How to Write Poetry - Creative Writing Lessons

Sa (1) la(2) mu(3) na(4)tu(5)ma(6) kwa(7)ko(8), na(9)o(10)mba(11) u(12)zi(13)po(14)ke(15)e(16)
Na(1)u(2)li(3)za(4) ha(5)li(6) ya(7)ko(8), na(9)ta(10)ka(1) ni(12)ku(13)ju(14)li(15)e(16)

Barua hii ni yako, ujumbe uusikie (same)
Kwa pozi na maumbile, mwenziyo unanikosha(same)

Cmon, how can someone count all this syllable things all the way down to the whole poem! Unless it happens naturally as one construct a poem ... !! ... and if its not sixteen you don't call that a poem ehh?

It reminds of periodic table in chemistry, you start with one electron, you add one from the previous and you get a new Element ...!!

You have one electron to be hydrogen, you add one electron you get new element Helium ...with 16th electron you end up with sixteen elements the last one being Sulfur and this keep on repeating till you get the whole thing. .... Looks like poems are scientific ...?? with specific formulas ...!! this is beautifully!!

Did this formula come spontaneously through out the world ... African, Europe, America they all came to realize they have ..sixteen syllabi's, rhymes in their poems or it was an international Bord which governs this ...!!

I will do a personal, close search to ascertains all this formulas (Rhyme and Rhythm and sixteen syllables) and see if I can come up with an Emotional Intelligent poem!! ... Of course simple with poetic vibes!!

Roulette can you please post the rest of the SPLEEN!!