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    1. #1
      Mentor's Avatar
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      Default Matani

      Jamani nilipokuwa mdogo hii ndo ilikuwa hobby yangu maana kwa umbo langu dogo sikuweza kupigana ila ukinikosea kidogo..nitakupa neno utakaa kimya mwenyewe!
      Najikumbushia tu...(usinichukie...)

      Unataka matani.. Nyani Ngabu, una bichwa kubwa mpaka shuleni ulikuwa unaitwa Headboy! twende twende..
      fidel 80, wewe umekonda mpaka ukisimama kwenye ukuta unakaa kama crack...
      :Mzee mwanakijiji demu wako amekonda mpaka akivaa t-shirt ya bluu anafanana na sim card ya tiGO.. Asprin unamashavu kama mimba ya panya..
      Na wewe TUKUTUKU uso kama shamba la matuta...
      Unataka unataka..
      Mwangalie kwanza, wewe Bigirita yaani wewe ni mbaya mpaka hutumia lotion inayoitwa 'why bother!'..teh teh..
      Zak wewe ni mweusi mpaka ukirushiwa jiwe linarudi kuitisha tochi...

      PS: On a light touch...
      Last edited by Mentor; 11th October 2012 at 08:42. Reason: kutoa ukali..
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    2. FemaTV & Radio

    3. #2
      Elli's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Nafikiri tunajaribu kuondoa stress za uchaguzi eeehh, haya bwana taratibu tu usijemtukana mkweo, naskia mpaka vidingi vimo humu JF!!! Sijajua JK na PINDA wanatumia nickname gani bt i think ni moja kati ya ulizotaja hapo juu, Makamba yeye anatumia nickname ya Malaria sugu au ZUBEDA

    4. #3
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By elli
      nafikiri tunajaribu kuondoa stress za uchaguzi eeehh, haya bwana taratibu tu usijemtukana mkweo, naskia mpaka vidingi vimo humu jf!!! Sijajua jk na pinda wanatumia nickname gani bt i think ni moja kati ya ulizotaja hapo juu, makamba yeye anatumia nickname ya malaria sugu au zubeda


      sema hakyanani!
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    5. #4
      Mentor's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Elli acha kunivunja mbavu bana...so, wakuu wote wamo humu...
      Kwanza nlikuwa na moja la malaria sugu wacha nimpe ndo nimuombe msamaha: Una kiuno kidogo mpaka ukijifunga belt ya kijani unakaa taxi za Ilala...

      basi wacha niendelee na wewe:
      Yaani wewe ni mjinga mpaka ulienda boarding sunday school!
      Last edited by Mentor; 30th January 2013 at 09:11.
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    6. #5
      TANMO's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor
      Mwangalie kwanza, wewe Bigirita yaani wewe ni mbaya mpaka hutumia lotion inayoitwa 'why bother!'..teh teh..
      Mkuu uzuri wa matani yasifanane na ukweli manake unaweza sababisha mengine humu.

      Nilikuwa napita tu jamani........................ ........
      Mentor and Masikini_Jeuri like this.
      Do Something......

    7. Miaka 50

    8. #6
      Mentor's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By hashycool
      [/color]

      sema hakyanani!
      Yaani hashy kwenu ni maskini mpaka nyie hukimbiza lile gari la takataka mkiwa na shopping list!!!!!!
      ***tafa..tafa..tafa..tafa..taf adhali ndugu yangu usinichukie...
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    9. #7
      Mentor's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Ndugu
      Mkuu uzuri wa matani yasifanane na ukweli manake unaweza sababisha mengine humu.

      Nilikuwa napita tu jamani.............................. ..
      Hahah..hapo ndo ukweli ulipo lala..
      Na wewe ndugu,
      una bichwa kubwa mpaka ukipita town unapita ukifanya psss psss....
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    10. #8
      Sumbalawinyo's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Unatisha hadi malaika mtoa roho anaogopa kukuchukua

    11. #9
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor
      Yaani hashy kwenu ni maskini mpaka nyie hukimbiza lile gari la takataka mkiwa na shopping list!!!!!!
      ***tafa..tafa..tafa..tafa..taf adhali ndugu yangu usinichukie...
      uzuri tunafanya shopping!
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    12. #10
      njiwa's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      duh...
      Pure Matrimony >> Purity starts here (Quran 24:26)
      My loyalty is to reason,and as a reasonable person I reserve the right to change my mind when presented with new information that alters my perspective" Njiwa"ᵀᴴᴱ'ᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ✯


    13. #11
      Mentor's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Sumbalawinyo
      Unatisha hadi malaika mtoa roho anaogopa kukuchukua
      Sumba...unajisema nini..maana nakumbuka kipindi kile tu wadogo tunaishi majirani..basi namsikia mama yako akikulazimisha kula, ukikataa anakuambia, "Kula ama nikuletee kioo!!!!"
      THE STORM likes this.
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    14. #12
      Mentor's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By hashycool
      uzuri tunafanya shopping!
      A wapi hashy..usipunguze makali: yaani nyie ni maskini mpaka dadako badala ya kutumia 'always' ye hutumia 'sometimes'..lol!
      Amoeba, Facilitator and MSOROPOGAS like this.
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    15. #13
      shanature's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By mentor
      elli acha kunivunja mbavu bana...so, wakuu wote wamo humu...
      Kwanza nlikuwa na moja la malaria sugu wacha nimpe ndo nimuombe msamaha: Una kiuno kidogo mpaka ukijifunga belt ya kijani unakaa taxi za ilala...

      Basi wacha niendelee na wewe:
      Yaani wewe ni mjinga mpaka ulienda boarding sunday school!
      yote tisa kumi hilo hahaaaaaa haaaa haaaaaaaaataaaa uh huu chwaaah......
      kuku kuku jogoo jina

    16. #14
      Mentor's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By njiwa
      duh...
      Na wewe njiwa...yani kwenu mko wengi mpaka nduguyo wa mwisho anaitwa 'yatosha'
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    17. #15
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor
      Na wewe njiwa...yani kwenu mko wengi mpaka nduguyo wa mwisho anaitwa 'yatosha'
      mweusi mpaka ukiingia kwenye gari linakuwa tinted
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    18. #16
      Mentor's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By shanature
      yote tisa kumi hilo hahaaaaaa haaaa haaaaaaaaataaaa uh huu chwaaah......
      Hahaha...
      Na nyie kwenu ni wajinga mpaka mkinunua viatu vinakuwa vimeandikwa; "This way in."
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    19. #17
      shanature's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By mentor
      a wapi hashy..usipunguze makali: Yaani nyie ni maskini mpaka dadako badala ya kutumia 'always' ye hutumia 'sometimes'..lol!
      ngumi hizo hizo hiyo
      kuku kuku jogoo jina

    20. #18
      shanature's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor
      Hahaha...
      Na nyie kwenu ni wajinga mpaka mkinunua viatu vinakuwa vimeandikwa; "This way in."
      Yaani nyie wajinga kupindukia nyie vikombe 2 vimeandikwa this side up...
      kuku kuku jogoo jina

    21. #19
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor
      Hahaha...
      Na nyie kwenu ni wajinga mpaka mkinunua viatu vinakuwa vimeandikwa; "This way in."
      sura ka unajiandaa kupiga chafya!
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    22. #20
      Munghiki's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      duh ure are more than a joker te te te teh

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