JamiiSMS
    Show/Hide This

    Topic: Matani

    Report Post
    Page 4 of 39 FirstFirst ... 23456 14 ... LastLast
    Results 61 to 80 of 771
    1. Mentor's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 14th October 2008
      Location : On my way to Heaven!
      Posts : 11,550
      Rep Power : 371841413
      Likes Received
      9299
      Likes Given
      30058

      Default Matani

      Jamani nilipokuwa mdogo hii ndo ilikuwa hobby yangu maana kwa umbo langu dogo sikuweza kupigana ila ukinikosea kidogo..nitakupa neno utakaa kimya mwenyewe!
      Najikumbushia tu...(usinichukie...)

      Unataka matani..

      Nyani Ngabu
      , una bichwa kubwa mpaka shuleni ulikuwa unaitwa Headboy! twende twende..
      Fidel80, wewe umekonda mpaka ukisimama kwenye ukuta unakaa kama crack...
      Mzee Mwanakijiji demu wako amekonda mpaka akivaa t-shirt ya bluu anafanana na sim card ya tiGO..

      Asprin
      unamashavu kama mimba ya panya..

      Na wewe TUKUTUKU uso kama shamba la matuta...

      Unataka unataka..

      Mwangalie kwanza, wewe Bigirita yaani wewe ni mbaya mpaka hutumia lotion inayoitwa 'why bother!'..teh teh..

      Zak wewe ni mweusi mpaka ukirushiwa jiwe linarudi kuomba tochi...
      watu8 wewe ni mshamba hadi mara ya kwanza kupanda daladala ulianza kutandika vitambaa kwenye siti.


      PS: On a light touch...
      Last edited by Mentor; 28th December 2013 at 13:59. Reason: kutoa ukali..
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    2. Azam

    3. hashycool's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 2nd October 2010
      Location : network search....
      Posts : 5,253
      Rep Power : 1595
      Likes Received
      681
      Likes Given
      163

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By daughter View Post
      Hashy we ni mroho mpaka unaonja maji ya kupikia ugali
      aah unataka enhee twende twende umekomaa mpaka nywele zako nyumbani kwenu wanatumia kama steel wire
      the safest place to hide from the police is the police station!

    4. hashycool's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 2nd October 2010
      Location : network search....
      Posts : 5,253
      Rep Power : 1595
      Likes Received
      681
      Likes Given
      163

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Asprin View Post
      Na wewe Mentor umekomaa mpaka ukitema mate yanadunda kama tenesi.
      pua ka jipu!
      the safest place to hide from the police is the police station!

    5. Mentor's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 14th October 2008
      Location : On my way to Heaven!
      Posts : 11,550
      Rep Power : 371841413
      Likes Received
      9299
      Likes Given
      30058

      Default Re: Matani

      @asprin: Mwangalie kwanza, una machunusi mpaka ukipigwa picha inatokea kama msasa
      @daughter : (natanguliza samahani)..wewe una MEWATA kubwa mpaka unavaa bra long-sleeved!!!!lol
      @hashycool : Nyie kwenu ni maskini mpaka mnakula ugali na hadithi za nyama..
      @gongotamu : kwenu ni kuchafu mpaka wewe hutoa viatu ukitoka nje..hahahahahahaha (got u..)
      @afrodenzi : wewe ni mfupi mpaka voters ID card yako ina picha yako ukiwa umesimama...teh teh teh...
      The next reader: Wewe ni mbaya mpaka siku za cha mama na baba wewe ulikuwa mbwa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
      Last edited by Mentor; 30th January 2013 at 15:47. Reason: Bold
      idriss likes this.
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    6. hashycool's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 2nd October 2010
      Location : network search....
      Posts : 5,253
      Rep Power : 1595
      Likes Received
      681
      Likes Given
      163

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By mentor View Post
      asprin: Mwangalie kwanza, una machunusi mpaka ukipigwa picha inatokea kama msasa
      daughter: (natanguliza samahani)..wewe una mewata kubwa mpaka unavaa bra long-sleeved!!!!lol
      hashy: Nyie kwenu ni maskini mpaka mnakula ugali na hadithi za nyama..
      gongotamu: Kwenu ni kuchafu mpaka wewe hutoa viatu ukitoka nje..hahahahahahaha (got u..)
      afrodenzi: Wewe ni mfupi mpaka voters id card yako ina picha yako ukiwa umesimama...teh teh teh...
      the next reader: Wewe ni mbaya mpaka siku za cha mama na baba wewe ulikuwa mbwa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
      we nimfupi mpaka passport photo yako umetokea mwili mzima!
      the safest place to hide from the police is the police station!

    7. Mentor's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 14th October 2008
      Location : On my way to Heaven!
      Posts : 11,550
      Rep Power : 371841413
      Likes Received
      9299
      Likes Given
      30058

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By hashycool View Post
      we nimfupi mpaka passport photo yako umetokea mwili mzima!
      Umerudia yangu ila sikuachi ivi ivi..
      Nyie kwenu ni wabahili mpaka mnapika chapati upande mmoja!
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    8. Ulemavu

    9. hashycool's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 2nd October 2010
      Location : network search....
      Posts : 5,253
      Rep Power : 1595
      Likes Received
      681
      Likes Given
      163

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By mentor View Post
      umerudia yangu ila sikuachi ivi ivi..
      Nyie kwenu ni wabahili mpaka mnapika chapati upande mmoja!
      dadaako mbaya mpaka mahari imerudi chenji
      the safest place to hide from the police is the police station!

    10. Mentor's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 14th October 2008
      Location : On my way to Heaven!
      Posts : 11,550
      Rep Power : 371841413
      Likes Received
      9299
      Likes Given
      30058

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By hashycool View Post
      dadaako mbaya mpaka mahari imerudi chenji
      twende twende...wewe ni mweusi mpaka ukibeba mtoto analala akidhani ni usiku!!!
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    11. hashycool's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 2nd October 2010
      Location : network search....
      Posts : 5,253
      Rep Power : 1595
      Likes Received
      681
      Likes Given
      163

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By mentor View Post
      twende twende...wewe ni mweusi mpaka ukibeba mtoto analala akidhani ni usiku!!!
      we mweusi hadi ukitembea usiku unatoa kivuli
      the safest place to hide from the police is the police station!

    12. Mentor's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 14th October 2008
      Location : On my way to Heaven!
      Posts : 11,550
      Rep Power : 371841413
      Likes Received
      9299
      Likes Given
      30058

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By hashycool View Post
      we mweusi hadi ukitembea usiku unatoa kivuli
      mwangalie kwanza...wewe ni mchoyo mpaka ukimeza mate unajificha!!
      Facilitator and Khantwe like this.
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    13. hashycool's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 2nd October 2010
      Location : network search....
      Posts : 5,253
      Rep Power : 1595
      Likes Received
      681
      Likes Given
      163

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor View Post
      mwangalie kwanza...wewe ni mchoyo mpaka ukimeza mate unajificha!!
      we mbahili mpaka hata ukipigiwa simu unaangalia salio
      the safest place to hide from the police is the police station!

    14. Mmwaminifu's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 15th October 2010
      Posts : 971
      Rep Power : 817
      Likes Received
      160
      Likes Given
      74

      Default Re: Matani

      Kweli kazi ipo, yaani katika sifa zote umeamua ku publish kuwa wewe ni professional in matusi, lakini na yenyewe ni fani, may be one day unaweza kuwa Managing Director kwenye kampuni ya matusi.

    15. LoyalTzCitizen's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 15th September 2010
      Location : Lashkar Gah, Helmand
      Posts : 1,632
      Rep Power : 861
      Likes Received
      179
      Likes Given
      177

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor View Post
      Hahaha...
      Na nyie kwenu ni wajinga mpaka mkinunua viatu vinakuwa vimeandikwa; "This way in."
      We Mentor mama wako ni mnene mpaka akienda kwa weight scale inasoma " to be continued"
      "A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.." (GB Shaw)


    16. LoyalTzCitizen's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 15th September 2010
      Location : Lashkar Gah, Helmand
      Posts : 1,632
      Rep Power : 861
      Likes Received
      179
      Likes Given
      177

      Default Re: Matani

      Twende twende twende! mama wako ni masikini mpaka kashindwa ku afford paying attention! lol! umenikumbusha mbali sana mkuu!
      "A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.." (GB Shaw)


    17. Mentor's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 14th October 2008
      Location : On my way to Heaven!
      Posts : 11,550
      Rep Power : 371841413
      Likes Received
      9299
      Likes Given
      30058

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By LoyalTzCitizen View Post
      Twende twende twende! mama wako ni masikini mpaka kashindwa ku afford paying attention! lol! umenikumbusha mbali sana mkuu!
      Hahaha..umenikumbusha kwenu na nyumba yenu ndogo mpaka inabidi mtoke nje mkitaka kuchange mind!!!hahahahaha...
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    18. Mentor's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 14th October 2008
      Location : On my way to Heaven!
      Posts : 11,550
      Rep Power : 371841413
      Likes Received
      9299
      Likes Given
      30058

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mmwaminifu View Post
      Kweli kazi ipo, yaani katika sifa zote umeamua ku publish kuwa wewe ni professional in matusi, lakini na yenyewe ni fani, may be one day unaweza kuwa Managing Director kwenye kampuni ya matusi.
      Jamani kuna tofauti kati ya matani na matusi..
      Matani: nimeanzisha thread jana ts still on mpaka leo..
      Matusi: unaanzisha thread 8:00, inafutwa 8:05 na unapigwa ban 8:06...lol!

      Mwangalie kwanza..kwenu ni wengi mpaka mna chuma ya kujishikilia kama daladala...teh teh teh...
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    19. Mentor's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 14th October 2008
      Location : On my way to Heaven!
      Posts : 11,550
      Rep Power : 371841413
      Likes Received
      9299
      Likes Given
      30058

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By hashycool View Post
      we mbahili mpaka hata ukipigiwa simu unaangalia salio
      hayaaa...unatakaee..
      We simu yako imechakaa (ni nzee) mpaka phone book imechanika!!!
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    20. Raia Fulani's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 12th March 2009
      Posts : 9,906
      Rep Power : 2833
      Likes Received
      1503
      Likes Given
      962

      Default

      Quote By Mentor View Post
      Umerudia yangu ila sikuachi ivi ivi..
      Nyie kwenu ni wabahili mpaka mnapika chapati upande mmoja!
      nimekukubali. Unaongeza dayz zangu za kulive
      Mentor likes this.

    21. LoyalTzCitizen's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 15th September 2010
      Location : Lashkar Gah, Helmand
      Posts : 1,632
      Rep Power : 861
      Likes Received
      179
      Likes Given
      177

      Default Re: Matani

      We Mentor dada wako mbaya mpaka ukimuweka na pig anamfanya pig awe Model! lol!
      "A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.." (GB Shaw)


    22. LoyalTzCitizen's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 15th September 2010
      Location : Lashkar Gah, Helmand
      Posts : 1,632
      Rep Power : 861
      Likes Received
      179
      Likes Given
      177

      Default Re: Matani

      We Mentor ni mjinga mpaka usiku ukienda lala unabeba ruler ati kupima how long you utalala! twende twende twende!
      "A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.." (GB Shaw)


    23. hashycool's Avatar
      JF Senior Expert Member Array
      Join Date : 2nd October 2010
      Location : network search....
      Posts : 5,253
      Rep Power : 1595
      Likes Received
      681
      Likes Given
      163

      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By LoyalTzCitizen View Post
      We Mentor ni mjinga mpaka usiku ukienda lala unabeba ruler ati kupima how long you utalala! twende twende twende!
      umekomaa mpaka umepiga home runs nne kwa mguu kwenye ligi ya baseball
      the safest place to hide from the police is the police station!

    Page 4 of 39 FirstFirst ... 2345614 ... LastLast

    Similar Topics

    1. Matani ya Wakenya
      By Zanaki in forum Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips
      Replies: 77
      Last Post: 16th October 2013, 14:02
    2. Matani ya Watani zetu.....
      By Bushbaby in forum Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips
      Replies: 7
      Last Post: 8th September 2011, 20:48
    3. Matani ya nilipokuwa mdogo
      By Bujibuji in forum Habari na Hoja mchanganyiko
      Replies: 77
      Last Post: 12th August 2010, 18:00
    4. matani ya kikenya
      By Darling in forum Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips
      Replies: 3
      Last Post: 24th February 2009, 18:01

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •  

    Who are WE?

    JamiiForums is a 'User Generated Content' site; anyone can register (MUST) and comment or start a new topic.

    You are always welcome! Read more...

    Where are we?

    We have our offices in Dar es Salaam but we still work virtually.

    For anything related to this site please Contact us.

    Contact us now...

    DISCLAIMER

    JamiiForums, its partners, affiliates and advertisers are not responsible for the content of threads/topics that are submitted by users..

    Read more...

    Forum Rules

    JamiiForums is moderated under the rules set by users and moderators to safeguard you.

    You MUST read them and comply accordingly. Read more...

    Privacy Policy

    We are committed to respecting your privacy rights when visiting any JamiiForums.com page, such as this one.

    Read our Privacy Policy. Proceed here...