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    1. #1
      Mentor's Avatar
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      Default Matani

      Jamani nilipokuwa mdogo hii ndo ilikuwa hobby yangu maana kwa umbo langu dogo sikuweza kupigana ila ukinikosea kidogo..nitakupa neno utakaa kimya mwenyewe!
      Najikumbushia tu...(usinichukie...)

      Unataka matani.. Nyani Ngabu, una bichwa kubwa mpaka shuleni ulikuwa unaitwa Headboy! twende twende..
      fidel 80, wewe umekonda mpaka ukisimama kwenye ukuta unakaa kama crack...
      :Mzee mwanakijiji demu wako amekonda mpaka akivaa t-shirt ya bluu anafanana na sim card ya tiGO.. Asprin unamashavu kama mimba ya panya..
      Na wewe TUKUTUKU uso kama shamba la matuta...
      Unataka unataka..
      Mwangalie kwanza, wewe Bigirita yaani wewe ni mbaya mpaka hutumia lotion inayoitwa 'why bother!'..teh teh..
      Zak wewe ni mweusi mpaka ukirushiwa jiwe linarudi kuitisha tochi...

      PS: On a light touch...
      Last edited by Mentor; 11th October 2012 at 08:42. Reason: kutoa ukali..
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !


    2. #41
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By hashycool View Post
      mnene mpaka mizani inasema to be cotinued...
      ndo maana kwenu ni insecure mpaka police station hufungwa 6pm!!!!!!
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    3. #42
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor View Post
      ndo maana kwenu ni insecure mpaka police station hufungwa 6pm!!!!!!
      we na mkeo mmekomaa mpaka mkikutana kimwili mnatengeneza moto
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    4. #43
      mang'ang'a's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Mdomo mkubwa hadi unaweza kufanya kolabo mwenyewe

    5. #44
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By mang'ang'a View Post
      Mdomo mkubwa hadi unaweza kufanya kolabo mwenyewe
      Mang'ang'a taratibu: ndo maana wewe una mdomo mkubwa mpaka ukipiga chafya unajing'ata kifua!!!
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    6. #45
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By mang'ang'a View Post
      Mdomo mkubwa hadi unaweza kufanya kolabo mwenyewe
      mzito mpaka ulipigisha pancha treni!
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?


    7. #46
      bucho's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      kwenda huko kichwa kama parachichi la kijiji

    8. #47
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By bucho View Post
      kwenda huko kichwa kama parachichi la kijiji
      umekomaa mpaka ukijamba ushuzi unakuwa mosquito repellent
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    9. #48
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By mang'ang'a View Post
      Mdomo mkubwa hadi unaweza kufanya kolabo mwenyewe
      uso ka plastic lililoungua!
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    10. #49
      Raia Fulani's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Jamani, sie kwetu kuchafu hadi mende wanavaa kandambili!
      Beware of a sucker punch

    11. #50
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      Default Re: Matani

      duuuhhh huku ndani kuna hatari kwa kweli.......... nimecheka, hadi nimelia sasa ngoja ni nyamaze ....
      life goes on.....

    12. #51
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By njiwa View Post
      duh...
      (Sex can kill u. Do u knw wht the human body goes through whn u have sex? Pupils dilate arteries constrict core temp rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets respiration becomes rapid and shallow the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses frm nowhere 2 nowhere and secretions spit out of every gland and the muscles tense and spasm like u're lifting 3 times your body weight. It's violent it's ugly and it's messy achana na ngono zembe ABSTAIN )




      waoooooo njiwa taratibu basi........
      Last edited by afrodenzi; 18th November 2010 at 01:36.
      life goes on.....

    13. #52
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Raia Fulani View Post
      Jamani, sie kwetu kuchafu hadi mende wanavaa kandambili!
      NA kweli..wewe ni mchafu mpaka ukipita karibu na choo kinajiflush!!!
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    14. #53
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By hashycool View Post
      uso ka plastic lililoungua!
      Hashy wewe ni mbaya mpaka watu wanakuhire wakati wa matanga ndo wapate huzuni!
      "Be an example.." 1 Timothy 4:12
      Irere lya Isembo ni ndeu - Benki ya mjinga ni tumbo lake.
      Mndu Kangikunda naware rero Lyako..John 14:23
      NACHO CHA RUWA
      !

    15. #54
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor View Post
      Hashy wewe ni mbaya mpaka watu wanakuhire wakati wa matanga ndo wapate huzuni!
      we mbaya kama nyuma ya tv
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    16. #55
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      Default Re: Matani

      lione, limetoa macho utadhani mjusi kabanwa na mlango

    17. #56
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By Mentor View Post
      Jamani nilipokuwa mdogo hii ndo ilikuwa hobby yangu maana kwa umbo langu dogo sikuweza kupigana ila ukinikosea kidogo..nitakupa neno utakaa kimya mwenyewe!
      Najikumbushia tu...(usinichukie...)

      Unataka matani..
      Nyani ngabu, una bichwa kubwa mpaka shuleni ulikuwa unaitwa Headboy! twende twende..

      Fidel, wewe umekonda mpaka ukisimama kwenye ukuta unakaa kama crack...
      Mzee mwanakiji demu wako amekonda mpaka akivaa t-shirt ya bluu anafanana na sim card ya tiGO..
      Aspirin unamashavu kama mimba ya panya..
      Na wewe Tukutuku uso kama shamba la matuta...
      Unataka unataka..
      Mwangalie kwanza, wewe Bigirita yaani wewe ni mbaya mpaka hutumia lotion inayoitwa 'why bother!'..teh teh..

      Zak wewe ni mweusi mpaka ukirushiwa jiwe linarudi kuitisha tochi...

      PS: On a light touch...
      Na wewe Mentor umekomaa mpaka ukitema mate yanadunda kama tenesi.
      ....Shimo La Panya Halizibwi Kwa Mkate.....

    18. #57
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By gongotamu View Post
      lione, limetoa macho utadhani mjusi kabanwa na mlango
      cheki sura ka ganda la limao
      Mentor likes this.
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    19. #58
      gongotamu's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      ndiyo maana kura yako NEC walishindwa kuichakachua

    20. #59
      hashycool's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By gongotamu View Post
      ndiyo maana kura yako NEC walishindwa kuichakachua
      umekomaa hadi ulipokuwa darasani ubaoni unaandikia kidole tu badala ya chaki
      Mentor likes this.
      hivi vrusi vya H.I.V na wewe nani mchokozi?

    21. #60
      daughter's Avatar
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      Default Re: Matani

      Quote By hashycool View Post
      umekomaa hadi ulipokuwa darasani ubaoni unaandikia kidole tu badala ya chaki
      Hashy we ni mroho mpaka unaonja maji ya kupikia ugali
      Mentor likes this.
      A one-eyed man is never thankful until he sees a blind man at a prayer meeting.

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