Matani ya Wakenya

**Zanaki** · 27th October 2008 14:00

Matani ya Wakenya ......

1. Ati wee ni m-black mpaka ukiingia kwa dinga, dirisha zinakuwa tinted!

2. Kwenu kuchafu mpaka mende zinatema mate, ati ‘THU’ hii hao (HOUSE) ni noma.

3. Vile wewe mfupi, ukipigwa picha ya passport inatokea full.

4. Kwenu nyi wakristu hata dogi zenu zikiona mwizi anaiba, zinawaambia “wee iba tu Mungu
anakuona.”

5. Ati hao(house) yenu ina gate lakini hakuna fence.

6. We' ni mshort mpaka ukikalia kwa pavement(sakafuni) miguu ina hang kwa hewa.
7. We mjinga mpaka ulifail blood test.

8. Wewe ni mblack mpaka mosquito ikitaka kukuuma lazima itumie torch.

9. We ni mrefu mpaka ukikunywa maziwa inafika kwa tumbo ikiwa mala (MGANDO/MTINDI) .
10. Wewe ni mweusi ukikanyanga makaa unawacha footprint za blak kwa makaa.

11. Nyanyako(bibi yako) mzee mpaka chawa za nywele yake hutembea na bakora.

12. Ati nyinyi ni wengi nyumbani kwenyu yaani buda(baba) yenu hajui majina mpaka huwa
address kama wananchi. (KAMA RAISI ANAPOTOA HOTUBA)

13. TV yenyu ni Ndogo lazima ufunge jicho moja ndio uone picha.

14. Wewe mblack mpaka unasweat soot.

15. Wewe mnono mpaka ukivaa yellow watoto wanafikiria ni schoolbus.

16. Manzii wako ni m ugly mpaka alikataliwa ku act horror(movie ya kutisha) Hollywood.

17. Nyumba yenyu ni ndogo mpaka lazima utoke nje kuchange mind.

18. Kwenyu nyinyi ni wengi mpaka kwa hao(house) kuna round-about.

19. Kwenyu nyinyi ni wa daft (WAJINGA) mpaka kupata driving license ilibidi mpelekwe boarding school.
20. Nywele za watoto wenyu ni ngumu mpaka mnazitumianga kama steel wool.

21. Mko wengi kwa hao(house) mpaka kuna rush hours na kukinyesha kunakuwa na jam
.
22. Wewe ni mshort mpaka ukishuka kutoka kwa zile vitanda double decker lazima utumie
parachute.

23. Ati TV yenu ni ndogo hadi wasee wa news huanza kwa kusema ..ati Munatuona jamani?

24. Sistaako ni ugly mpaka monkey ikampatia ndizi.

25. We mblack mpaka ukikutana na mzungu afternoon anakushow good evening?

26. Ngombe yenu mzee mpaka inatoanga yogurt

27. Kwenu kumekauka mpaka ngombe yenu hutoa milk powder.

28. Wee ni mzee mpaka ukiumwa na mosquito zina tema mate

29. Paka yenu noma mpaka iki shika panya inaitisha chumvi, fork na pilipili.

30. Kwenu nyinyi ni wengi mpaka mkipigwa family photo wengine wanatokea kama wame hang(ning’inia) kwa frame.

31. TV yenu ndogo mpaka wasee wa News(watangazaji wa habari) wame piga magoti.

32. We mrefu mpaka ukianza kuvaa underwear mbichi by the time ifike kwa magoti ime kauka.

33. Nyumba yenu ni chafu mpaka cockroach huvaa slippers(malapa) .

34. Budako(baba yako) ni ****, alienda ku buy ngombe akaona ikikojoa akasema, sitaki hiyo, imetoboka.

**Ndevu mbili** · 28th May 2011 21:41

.. ntakuachia yangu chapaa!.

**Mutambukamalogo** · 29th May 2011 14:23

Mbwa wenu ni mvivu sana. Jana mchana walikuja majambazi kwa nyumba yenu. Mbwa wenu alikuwa kalala chini ya mti mbele ya nyumba. Alichofanya alifumbua jicho moja tu na akawaambia: Hivi nyie waizi mbona hamna akili. Mnakuja mchana wote huu wa saa sita mnadhani ni nani atakayewakimbiza wakati mi nimejipumzisha hapa!. Hebu ibeni haraka muondoke mkirudi usiku ndo nitawakimbiza!.

**The Priest** · 29th May 2011 14:48

Nimecheka sana na hii matani ya wakenya wako talented...nacheki Inspector Mwala citizen,wanatisha

**Kitty Galore** · 29th May 2011 14:57

By simplemind

Jokes zinachangamsha.Kenya has talented standup comedians /watch churchill live on NTV Every Tuesday 7.30 p.m.

hii show hapa bongo tunaweza kuiona kupitia wapi?

**Jaguar** · 29th May 2011 20:17

We mkare tangu kare!

**zayat** · 30th May 2011 00:38

I like no 3

**Susy** · 30th May 2011 07:14

nimependa zaidi hii

"Wewe mnono mpaka ukivaa yellow watoto wanafikiria ni schoolbus".

**Horseshoe Arch** · 30th May 2011 07:29

Nimezipenda sana...thus coool!

**Bushbaby** · 30th May 2011 12:34

By simplemind

Namba 23 kali!

mi napenda 31

**Derimto** · 24th July 2011 07:36

Nimezipenda zote na mwanangu kazifurahia pia

**Derimto** · 24th July 2011 07:44

Kweli watu wan vipaji vyao

**Nyangiez** · 24th July 2011 08:34

heheheh..,very funny!

**Viper** · 24th July 2011 08:37

By Calnde

Dah wenzetu kiswahili ni issue.Ila si nasikia wanaongoza kwa kutoa magraduands wa kiswahili?

na isitoshe wageni wanaenda kwao kusoma lugha ya kiswahili...

lakini ukifika mombasa wanaongea kiswahili kile standard kama cha unguja .. kitamu we acha tu!

**mchemsho** · 24th July 2011 17:03

Aiseee.!!

**Pitz** · 24th July 2011 17:24

Ts funny

**Pitz** · 24th July 2011 21:00

By Bushbaby

mi napenda 31

me 32 and 33.

**Pitz** · 24th July 2011 21:02

By Mfwalamanyambi

Hakya Mungu, we ni mkenyaaaaaaaaa au ni kipaji tu? very nice!

mbona znachapishwa kwenye magazet ya kenya kama taifa le2 na mengne...haya magazet hapa tz yanapatkana sehem za namanga,holili na sirari..

**muwaha** · 24th July 2011 21:07

Me like no. 3 ati!

**zululima** · 25th July 2011 09:51

sio vichekesho vyetu bongo vya kulazimisha. Jamaa wapo very advanced. wabongo tujifunze, tujikaze jamaa wanakuja mpaka home sasa. tujifunze kuchekesha na watu wazima sio kukazana kuchekesha watoto tu.

**Likwanda** · 25th July 2011 10:21

Kweli iko nafurahisha, iko poa mkuu.

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